Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever” (Mt 19:3)?

The question about divorce came from an already existing debate within Jewish circles of interpretation and schools of thought. Testing Jesus arose from time to time to better understand who he would side with. In the particular case of divorce, there was a range of interpretation. On one end of the spectrum there was the School of Shammai, which permitted divorce only in the event of some sexual misconduct. At the other end was the School of Hillel, which would allow a man to divorce his wife if she cooks a bad meal (cf. Harrington, 275).

The Pharisees sought to understand where he stood in the spectrum of thought. Jesus responded: “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Mt 19:4-5)? The response of Jesus negated both schools. Nor did he acknowledge the precept of Moses who allowed divorce, explaining that, “from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19:8). Jesus’ defense went back to God’s original intent recorded in the Book of Genesis, which allowed no provision for divorce.

In God’s plan, marriage is a covenantal relationship, as is the relationship between God and his people that is not to be broken. In marriage, we mirror the union between God and his people. The ideal of marriage is to be lifelong; the two giving of themselves freely to one another, and supporting one another, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. Jesus is saying that ought to be the goal and we should settle for nothing less, because this is a covenant. But we live in a fallen world and we do not often live up to what God has planned for us.

For many reasons there are times where a marriages do not work, but that does not mean we give up on marriage. Even though Jesus holds the standard high, he does not abandon us when we ourselves fall. He is present in our woundedness, brokenness, and fallibility. He reminds us: “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners” (Mk 2:17).

It is right to keep our goals high and resist the temptation to settle for anything less than what God has in store for us, which is a covenant relationship with himself. We need to provide education, support, modeling, and mentoring for couples to remain faithful to one another and to God. And when a relationship breaks down, we need to walk with those who suffer through the pain of the rupture. Jesus does not abandon us nor should we abandon one another. We are a broken people seeking healing and reconciliation in so many areas of our lives, and we need to support each other and strive to be faithful to a God who knows and loves us more than we can ever mess up.