“If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, ‘I am sorry,’ you should forgive him” (Lk 17:3-4).
Forgiveness is a cornerstone of our faith tradition as Christians. Hopefully, the verse above moves you. If not, how about Peter’s request of Jesus asking how many times should he forgive, seven times? Thinking he was being pretty generous. Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times” (cf. Mt 18:21-22). If those two are not enough how about a third example. When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. He taught them the Our Father or Lord’s Prayer. A prayer which many of us recite daily, even multiple times. Do you remember the phrase from it? “Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” or “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” (Mt 6:11-12).
If we are to be faithful followers and practitioners of Jesus the Christ we need to be people who forgive. Not once above does Jesus say forgive, except in this incident. Also, nor does he say we are to forgive within limits, seventy-seven times is not the end, he is saying we are to forgive at every opportunity. Forgiveness does not mean that we justify the offense or even necessarily forget. Jesus said to rebuke the person, for we are to hold people accountable. We are also not expected to forgive with our own will power alone. Jesus himself on the cross sought the aid of his Father: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Lk 23:34). Jesus didn’t say, “I forgive them.”
Maybe an analogy will help. Unforgiveness is like being bitten by a rattlesnake. So bitten, the venom gets into our bloodstream. We have a choice at that point we can chase the fleeing snake or seek immediate medical treatment. One unwilling to forgive would be likened to one who would go after the snake, looking through rocks, fallen logs, and into brush, as he slowly begins to weaken, gets feverish, his vision becomes blurry, possible numbness of the face or limbs ensues as the poison continues to course through his veins. Left untreated and seeking the snake, like Captain Ahab sought Moby Dick, he continues on hoping to get the snake and kill it, but left untreated he may soon die without medical treatment and an injection of antivenom.
Holding on to grudges, seeking revenge, being unwilling to forgive, is like being bitten by a snake, poisonous or not, without treatment there can be ill effects, even death. The same is true for unforgiveness. It can be incapacitating, debilitating, and can lead to a premature as well as an eternal death. The preferred option is to seek medical treatment and receive the healing antivenom. Forgiveness is a healing salve, it is an antidote. Depending on the level of the pain inflicted, forgiveness will take different degrees of firm intent, time, discipline, and prayer. Some other means to forgive are to seek to understand why the person did what they did, and to not only pray daily for help in forgiving but to also pray for the good of the other involved. With God’s grace forgiveness will come.
Why should we forgive, other than Jesus commanded us to? Because by doing so we no longer inflict the injury upon ourselves caused by another. We can be healed, so we can be free. I invite you to find a quiet place of prayer today, and call to mind a person you have not forgiven. Ask God to help you to forgive, even if your prayer begins, “Father please forgive, name.” Return each day until you can bring yourself to say, “I forgive, name.” Visualize yourself saying that you forgive the person face to face. If the opportunity presents itself you may want to say that you forgive the person directly. With Jesus and your intent to seek forgiveness, even if in the beginning you are unwilling, with time, reconciliation is possible. One last reason to forgive: Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Photo: One of my quiet places to pray at home.
Link for today’s Mass readings:
Spiritual Stepping Stones 