Often when we forget the meaning of words they lose their power. I think that goodbye is one of those words for many of us. In the opening of her book, Praying Goodbyes, Joyce Rupp gives us back the meaning:

“God-be-with-ye or Go-with-God – was a a recognition that God was a significant part of the going. When you dreaded or feared the journey there was strength in remembering that the one who gave and cherished life would be there to protect and to console. Goodbye was a blessing of love, professing the belief that if God went with you, you would never be alone, that comfort strength, and all other blessings of a loving presence would accompany you.”

At 7:48 California time, four years ago today, I said goodbye to JoAnn. I held her hand until her body was taken away because one of my greatest joys was holding her hand and I knew it would be for the last time. Since that morning I have come to experience, again from Joyce Rupp:

“We may be harshly bruised by life’s farewells, but it is possible to be healed. We can become whole again. I believe that if we are willing to move inside the heart of the experience, to live patiently through the process even as we acknowledge the difficult, painful emotions, that we can experience the wonder of spiritual growth and the marvel of new depths of faith in our relationship with God and others.”

Healing and wholeness is possible, even while at the same time life is never the same. JoAnn has gone with God and so have I and that has made all the difference. It has been in turning to Jesus and Mary, trusting them with my pain, wounds, fears, insecurities, and weaknesses, that I have grieved and begun to heal. Jesus can only heal our wounds when we are willing to enter into them, talk about them, experience them, for it is there that Jesus, on the cross, has his arms wide open to embrace us, to hear us, and to heal us.

I say goodbye to my love and my heart again today, thankful JoAnn for the time we had in this life and grateful for being able to let go and surrender more into the love of God you are experiencing more fully now. In learning and choosing to make time to breathe in, rest, receive, and abide in our Father’s love I now feel his accompaniment, his closeness, and yours and it is there, in his love, I seek to now live each day.

Photo: I loved holding JoAnn’s hand as much as I enjoyed seeing her smile!