I opened the door of the aviary pen and closed it behind me, then looked up at the red tail hawk perched above. My perception changed, and the bird appeared to grow to three times its size. I realized the power and majesty of this bird of prey in that moment. After a few months of going in and out to clean the pen and inspect his health, I lost a bit of that wonder and became too comfortable.
One day, I no longer kept at least one eye on the hawk. My head was down as I raked and before I could get out of the way it flew by me and clipped my forehead with one of its sharp talons. Becoming too complacent got me a few stitches.
We have to be careful in our relationship with God as well. It is not that God is looking for a chance to swoop down and get us, but when we lose our sense of awe and wonder for God, we can slip into complacency and forget that God is God and we are not.
The author of Proverbs affirms the opposite when he writes, “the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” and the Psalmist writes, “Blessed are those who fear the Lord.” The fear they are talking about is the awe and wonder toward the infinite transcendence and power of God. God is so vast and beyond our comprehension that we can’t even comprehend him.
Yet, in Jesus Christ, he comes so close that it is the incredible intimacy of his love that we fear. He sees into the depths of our souls, and we cringe because we are afraid that if he sees those darkest corners of our lives that he will either reject us or squash us like a bug. Neither will happen because Jesus loves us more than we can ever imagine or than we can ever mess up. We need to trust him and grant him access into to every corner of our lives.
The problem comes when we become like the “wicked, lazy servant” who buried his talent out of fear for his master. We act similarly when we buy into the lies of the enemy that God won’t forgive us, he can’t love someone like me, and we then assume a defensive posture. We try to protect what we have, forgetting that everyone and all that we have received comes from God who is the unlimited source.
When we buy into the lies that we are not good enough, we are not worthy enough, that our prayers don’t make a difference, we are listening and trusting the wrong voice. God asks, “Are we willing?” Are we willing to be loved and to love in return? Are we willing to receive what he gives us and share it, even if it is just one smile directed at someone with whom we happen to catch the eyes of. Just starting there can make such a difference in that person’s life because in that moment of acknowledgement we say to the other, you matter, you exist, I see you, and love you as you are.
Even something so small is easier said than done, but, when we trust Jesus, when we are willing to risk when God is investing in and encouraging us to reach out to acknowledge another, he will happen whether we see the fruit or not. And with each step we take, we get a little stronger, a little more light shines in our dark world, and a little more love pushes back the momentum of hate and division. With each kind thought, word, and deed, we become a little more human.
When we become complacent and retreat into our comfort zones, and forget that God is God and we are not, we create a space between us and God that was never intended. Again, he is not looking for a moment to zap us when we sin, but he also gives us the freedom to choose, and to receive the consequences of our choices.
Healthier choices begin when we fear the Lord, when we allow ourselves to experience the awe and wonder of a God who is so vast from anything we can ever comprehend while at the same time willing to come so close, closer than we even know ourselves, and to allow him to love us more than we can ever imagine.
It is this expectation that is helpful to have when we approach the altar at Mass where Jesus is made present again for us. Jesus, in the fullness of his divinity is willing to come close to us in the simple elements of bread and wine. So simple that we can miss him. Yet he comes to us so that we can receive him and be transformed by the very love of his being that we consume. As we receive Jesus in his word proclaimed, in the music, in his Body and Blood, we can then bear him to those we meet today in so many ways. If you are not sure where to begin, begin with a smile.
Give yourself a moment today to be still, take a few, slow, deep breaths, and imagine God loving you as you are right now in this moment for that is what he is waiting to do. Savor and rest in the gift of his love. Feel the joy of the Holy Spirit rise in your heart, thank him for his love that he offers no matter what, and share what you have received.
Photo: A smile from JoAnn and me visiting red tail hawk at the Busch Wildlife Sanctuary in Jupiter, FL.
Spiritual Stepping Stones 