“I think we should get a divorce.”

I heard these words listening in on my parent’s conversation late one night fifty-one years ago.

“You have Stage IV cancer, and it is most likely inoperable.”

The nurse practitioner shared these words with my wife, JoAnn, and me over four years ago.

Each of these moments were probably the most traumatic in my life. The difference between the two was my reaction. To the first I made a vow to God that if this happened, we were through. It did. We were, for a time. To the second, I quietly took a breath and said, “Here we are again, Lord, please walk with us through this.”

“Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths” (Mark 1:3).

First said by Isaiah and echoed by Mark. These words I have been putting into practice for the past forty years in my search for healing and wholeness.

Each of us have faced similar or our own traumas and suffering. And unfortunately, as it was for me for far too long and for too many of us, our answer to suffering is to deny it, distract ourselves from it, run away, and/or do anything to cover up what we are feeling so that we don’t have to deal with it. Unfortunately, in doing so, any and all of those practices don’t make us feel any better but only intensify and strengthen our pain. And most likely will lead us to make choices that are not only unhealthy but sinful and further separate us from our authentic selves, each other, and God.

We then slide into a posture of fear. We are afraid to share what we are going through because we don’t think anyone will understand, we don’t want to appear weak, we think something is wrong with us, or we might believe that if people find out, what will they think? We believe the lies that the enemy tells us, we tell ourselves, and we experience the heavy and continuing weight of shame. We are not willing to trust and so we become more isolated and separate.

We function well on the outside and tell those who may ask that we are fine, but deep within we are struggling with anxiety, fears, stress, and pain. While at the same time, we experience a deep hunger. We want to belong. We want to be seen and accepted for who we are. We want to be loved and to love.

Yet, we are afraid to take the risk to let others in. We are unwilling to trust because we are afraid of being hurt again. We believe that if we are vulnerable, honest, share what we believe, and are truly ourselves free of the masks we hide behind, that we won’t belong, we won’t be accepted. We won’t be loved. We will be alone.

We really don’t have to live our lives this way. We can be healed, we can be whole again, we can belong, and loved. That is the promise we are offered when we take some time to reflect on the opening lines from our Gospel of Mark.

“The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ the Son of God” (Mark 1:1).

These words are no mere introduction, each one has deep meaning for our lives. “The beginning” would have been recognized by Mark’s Jewish audience as referring to the first words of Genesis, “In the beginning” when God created all that exists. Mark is reminding us how we were made from the beginning. We were made very good. This was God’s original plan and God will not be denied. This is also the beginning of the fulfillment of his plan that has been all along.

This is the gospel, euangelion, the good news. In ancient Rome, the good news was often proclaimed by generals and the emperor himself after a great victory. Mark is preparing us to receive the account of a great victory over sin and death.

The victor is Jesus Christ the Son of God. Christus in Greek was only used for the emperor of Rome and the following emperors. Mark is introducing a new world order, it is no longer that Caesar is the Christ the son of god, but Jesus Christ who is the Son of God. Jesus is the Son of God made man whose birth we will celebrate in a few more weeks. He is the second person of the Trinity. He became one with us in our humanity so that we can become one with him in his divinity.

Jesus came to help to restore and redeem what has been lost in the fall with Adam and Eve. The good news we have today is that we have a God that loves us so much that he is willing to allow us the freedom to reject him, to choose anything, even our separation from him. If and when we do, he does not give up on us. He has sent his Son to be one with us, to accompany us, to reveal to us gently where we have gone astray, and invites us back into unity and communion with him and his Father to experience the love of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus is the fulfillment of Isaiah. He has made “straight in the wasted land a highway for our God! Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain laid low; the rugged land shall be made plain, the rough country, a broad valley.”

Any barriers that prevent us from returning into our full and intimate relationship with God has been laid low, even sin, and death. The only barrier he will not level without our consent is our will. We need to prepare ourselves to receive the fullness of his grace by following the lead of John the Baptist by repenting. By turning back to God, reorienting our life such that God is to be first in our lives.

The first step in our repentance this Advent is to trust in Jesus. He is inviting us to let him into our minds and hearts so that he can shine his light into the darkness of our brokenness and our sins. He is inviting us not to condemn us, but to reveal to us what we need to let go of. We also need to understand Jesus did not come to fix us. He has come to love and accompany us.

The path to healing and wholeness is hard work. What I am sharing is no silver bullet. We need to experience and go through the pain we have buried, we need to identify and renounce the lies we have been believing, and what we also need to realize is that Jesus did not come to fix us, he comes to love us just as we are right now.

We can’t nor does God want us to do this work alone. Jesus will lead us into these dark areas of our lives with his tender chords of love and he we will respect our pace. He meets us where we are and invites us to take a few steps forward. As we take each step, he will then guide us to the next one. He does not enable us, he invites and empowers us.

We all have hidden wounds within. We need to be patient with ourselves and patient with each other. The good news is that we do not walk alone. This Advent, let us begin or begin again by placing our trust in Jesus and at least one other person. Let us, step by faithful step, walk toward healing and wholeness.

I invite you to take a step right now. If you feel comfortable close your eyes. Take a few slow breaths. Allow your shoulders to come out of your ears. Be still. And call to mind or ask Jesus to reveal a wound, a place within that needs healing, something about yourself or in your life that you would like to change, something you may need or want to confess. Don’t go digging or force anything, and if nothing comes that is ok. Just breathe and open your mind and heart to receive Jesus who will be made present on this altar again for us and when you receive him, receive and abide in his love and carry him with you into this evening and your week.

The same Jesus that is helping me to heal and loves me as I am is the same Jesus who loves you right now as you are and more than you can ever imagine. This is good news!

Photo: Rosary walk, Bethany Retreat Center, Lutz, FL during canonical retreat.

Link for the Mass readings for Sunday, December 10, 2023