This is Holy Saturday. We remember how Jesus was in the tomb and wonder how the disciples of Jesus feel. Were their hopes dashed by the death of their teacher as they hid in fear that they might be next. Could he really have been the Messiah if he has died? Anguish, fear, doubts, and despair are heavy weights.

Some glimmer of hope though may come as they gathered and recalled what Jesus had said and taught. Peter, James, and John were especially privileged to have seen the transfiguration of Jesus. Jesus had raised Jairus’ daughter, the widow’s son, and Lazarus from the dead. Was Lazarus with them now? Could he have provided some possible hope that since he was raised, that Jesus may indeed rise again as he promised?

A powerful claim. But could it really happen?

Holy Saturday is that in between time. In between the death of Jesus and his resurrection. A place between despair and hope. All may appear to be lost, but then again there is the promise of Jesus. Did Mary and the Apostles trust him? Do we? As I shared yesterday, it is our pain and suffering that we carry into our Holy Saturdays. To heal, we need to be willing to carry those emotions that we would rather not experience and not deal with, because we might fear that if we do, we will be undone or that they will be too overwhelming. And yet, it is in taking that risk, entering into and experiencing our pain that we experience the comforting presence and love of Jesus. Jesus who experiences our pain with us as well as his Mother, whose heart was pierced when the centurion’s lance pierced her Son’s heart. And it is in experiencing our suffering with them that there can be a path to healing.

We often find ourselves in the same emotional maelstrom as did the disciples. We have heard that he is with us and that he loves us no matter what, but there is this period of dead silence. Holy Saturday is that time of waiting, that time of silence, and that time to draw deeper into believing even when we cannot see or experience with our senses. Holy Saturday is also a time to ponder and embrace the truth that it is not all about us. In looking beyond ourselves to the Passion of Jesus: his suffering, crucifixion, and death, our problems and sufferings may be adjusted with our focus and perspective on him instead of us.

Too often our minds tend to focus on the worst case scenario, and in times when we don’t feel or experience Jesus’ presence, we need to trust that he is not absent and that he has not abandoned us. Jesus is right by our side. We may not be aware because of our focus or he just might be challenging us to go deeper in our trust and faith in him. When we do, instead of feeling like we are sinking in the mud, we will come to find that our feet are set on solid rock, the Christ the Son of the living God.

Photo of a closeup painting of William Bouguereau’s, Pieta, hanging in the main conference room at the Our Lady of Florida Retreat Center, North Palm Beach, FL.