JoAnn, five years ago today, I stayed with you and held your hand until the attendants from the funeral home took your body away. About an hour later I started to cook breakfast for Jack and Christy, and I felt a warmth in my chest envelop my heart and felt your words say, “It is ok to be sad and grieve but don’t stay there. I will be closest to you when you are doing what makes you happy.”

At my ordination Mass concelebrating with Bishop Barbarito, I felt that same feeling of warmth in my chest, and how close you were. At each Mass, how thin the veil between heaven and earth is thanks to Jesus made present again in his Body and Blood.

In about an hour, I will be celebrating Mass. Doing so each day has made me happier than I could have ever imagined. I have struggled sometimes experiencing being happy since your death, feeling somehow in doing so, that I was betraying you. I realized yesterday that has been a lie. I am not happy that you are gone. I am happy that I am following God’s will. I honor you best by sharing the love of Jesus and our love with others. You were right, you are closest, and I feel your love when I do that which makes me happy. Onto Mass!!!

Photo: JoAnn and I visiting Jack and Christy in CA, during spring break in 2019, just before we received her diagnosis.