Jesus lies in the tomb. I can’t even imagine the anguish that Mary experienced watching her Son die such a horrific and humiliating death. The disciples of Jesus must have felt that their hopes had been dashed by the death of their teacher and friend, they hid in fear that they would be next. Where fear and anxiety dwell, doubt often creeps in. Could Jesus really have been the Messiah if he died? Anguish, fear, doubts, and despair weigh heavy.
Yet at some point that Saturday, a glimmer of hope arose. As they huddled together they would have recalled some of Jesus’ words that he shared to prepare them for this moment. Peter, James, and John were especially privileged to have seen the transfiguration of Jesus. Jesus had raised Jairus’ daughter, the widow’s son, and his friend, Lazarus from the dead. Was Lazarus with them now? Could he have provided some possible hope that since he was raised, that Jesus may indeed rise again as he had said?
A powerful claim. But could it really happen?
We often find ourselves in similar, emotional maelstroms as did the disciples. We have or are right now may be experiencing dire situations and/or unexpected events. Even if not as dire, the daily wounds that attempt to arise and cry for healing, our anxieties, insecurities, and fears seem to keep us bound, and knowing we want to be better, we have good intentions, but don’t seem to rise to our deepest aspirations. As St. Paul articulated well, “What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate” (Rom 7:15).
Yet, Paul and the other disciples, except Judas, persisted and did not give totally into despair and hopelessness. They continued to turn to and so help us to turn to and trust in Jesus. Even knowing that, doubts arise, and there are times that we don’t see how we can possibly get through what we are in the midst of or what looms before us. We have heard that he is with us no matter what, but there is this period of dead silence…
Holy Saturday is a time of waiting, a time of silence, and a time to draw deeper into believing what we cannot see or experience with our senses. Holy Saturday is a time to ponder and embrace the Passion of Jesus: his suffering, crucifixion, and death. Holy Saturday gives us the opportunity to make some time to learn the intimate language of the Father’s silence.
We have an advantage that Jesus’ followers did not have as they huddled together so many Saturday’s ago. We know that Jesus rose again. The question, do we really believe that he did? When faced with chronic or debilitating conditions, horrible violence, wars, the death or imminent death of a loved one, loss of a job, a surprising diagnosis, health issues, division, family strife and conflict, homelessness, isolation… each of us experience the Holy Saturday’s in our life.
Our minds tend to be drawn to focus on the worst case scenario, and in these times, when we don’t feel or experience Jesus’ presence, let us remember that he is not absent nor has he abandoned us. Jesus is right by our side and he cares. In the times of silence, he just may be challenging us to go deeper in our trust and faith in him, to embrace the silence with him. Let us trust in Jesus this day that he accompanies us in our moments of challenge. When we do, instead of feeling like we are sinking in the mud, we will come to set our feet on solid rock so as to be able to stand firm.
Photo: Walking in the quiet of the night to spend time in silence during Holy Hour with Jesus.
Meditation on Holy Saturday not any specific readings as we prepare for the Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday this Saturday.
Spiritual Stepping Stones