“But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mk 10:6-9).
With this response, Jesus clarified the original plan of God from the beginning. Divorce, along with death and sin, was never part of God’s plan. God promotes unity, life, and truth.
God is a perfect communion of three Persons existing as one through their infinite self-gift to one another. While at the same time, each are distinct in their relation to one another. The Father is not the Son, the Son is not the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit is not the Father, each are distinct while at the same time they are one because of their infinite self-giving and receiving.
The Sacrament of Marriage is to be a finite expression of the reality of the infinite communion of the Holy Trinity. The Father, through infinite, self-sacrificial love, gives all that he is, holding nothing back of himself to the Son. The Son receives perfectly all that the Father has given and returns infinitely all that he has received to the Father holding nothing back. The Holy Spirit is the infinite love shared between the Father and the Son.
Man and woman have been created in the image and likeness of God to do the same. When a man and a woman are brought together by God, “they are no longer two but one flesh.” The husband and wife are to also be a self-gift and offer sacrificial love to one another as do the three Persons of the Trinity. In each giving of themselves to one another and becoming one flesh in the marital act, there is an openness to a third person, born of the love shared in their union, a child.
Jesus, did not come to abolish the law and the prophets, he came to restore and fulfill the truth of what God intended from the beginning. He does so here again with his teaching on marriage. As with many, if not most, of his teachings they can seem impossible to put into practice. not only in his time, but in ours where about fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.
There are many reasons divorces come about, the scope of which is beyond what I can explore here. What we can do though is not lose hope and meditate upon a key phrase that Jesus offered, “What God has joined together, no human must separate.”
When we live and make our decisions apart from God’s will, we miss the mark. This is true with marriages as well. Many whose marriages do not last may not do so because they were not ordained by God. There were false or non compatible reasons the couple may not have seen or were unwilling to address early on. There also may be marriages in which God has led the pair to come together, although they did not build their marriage on God as their center and foundation, nor sought his help to persevere.
When a marriage ends, there may be grounds for an annulment, which is not a Catholic divorce. The Church presumes a marriage is valid until proven otherwise. The annulment process looks at whether the marriage was valid at the outset and if proven not to be, there is an opportunity for healing and a new beginning, in which the individuals are free to marry. Another often misunderstood point is that if an annulment is granted, the children of this union are still considered legitimate.
The Sacrament of Matrimony is a wonderful gift and with Jesus as the center of the marriage there is the possibility for a faithful, indissoluble covenant that is open to procreation. As with any of the teachings of Jesus in this fallen world, marriage is hard but well worth the effort. Marriage is still possible when the husband and wife seek to put Jesus first in their lives, seek his help and guidance daily, pray individually and together, communicate, see as God sees not as man sees, and are willing to grow together, love and sacrifice for one another.
Photo: Very blessed and thankful that God brought JoAnn and me together and that we enjoyed 23 years of marriage. This time together has also helped me to become a better priest.
Spiritual Stepping Stones 