If we live long enough, we will experience the death of someone we have loved. If we live a long life, we will experience even more of the pain of death. I remember my maternal grandfather sharing with me when he was around ninety that he had outlived most of his siblings and friends. Unfortunately, for too many death is a daily event. Grief during this time of loss is a natural human response. It is certainly not an emotion to be suppressed.
Yet, in today’s Gospel, when Jesus shared with his disciples about his imminent death, he said, “But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts” (Jn 16:6). Jesus was preparing them for his suffering and death, but also letting them know that they would not be left alone. He would send the Holy Spirit to be with them. The Apostles were not able to understand what Jesus was talking about. Who can blame them? They had no point of reference for someone dying and rising again, ascending and sending the Third Person of the Trinity to be with them.
The Apostles would not only feel the grief of the loss of Jesus, they would also experience the fear of the same persecution that took him. They betrayed Jesus, abandoned him, yet, except for Judas because he had taken his own life, Jesus came to them again after his Resurrection, and forgave them. Jesus would in a short time ascend, and the disciples, with Mary, would experience the love and grace of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, they faced what was before them head on, even unto their own violent deaths, except for John. The fear of death had no more power over them, their grief and their fear were turned into joy from their encounter with the Risen Jesus and the Love of the Holy Spirit.
For us too, as with the Apostles, grief is real, because death is a loss, it is a change in our present reality. Though we need to remember that we celebrate this Easter Season for fifty days for a reason. Death has lost its sting, death does not hold the final answer. Jesus has died, entered into the fullness of everything that death threw at him, and conquered it. Jesus has died for us all, that we can also rise with him, and be with him and our loved ones again for eternity.
Although good news indeed, this may be all a bit too much to take in. We can believe in our minds that death does not have the final answer, yet we may still feel the grief and the pain of loss. Let us be honest with our emotions, and not stifle them, thinking by showing grief we are in some way less of a person of faith. We need to feel the pain of our suffering. In allowing ourselves to enter into our pain, we will experience the Risen Christ who is waiting to embrace us in the reality of the truth that he has conquered death, just as he did with the Apostles. Jesus has welcomed our loved ones home with him and is preparing to welcome us home when it is our time as well.
Jesus will bring us healing and hope. To experience our grief is healthy, but we must resist holding on to our grief or being attached to it. The time of grief is different for each person. There is a time to grieve and a time to begin again. Our hope and our faith is that we come to believe and trust that death does not have the final answer, but Jesus does.
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Link for the Mass readings for Tuesday, May 8, 2018: