“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her” (Lk 10:41-42).
My wife, JoAnn, used to have more than a few spirited discussions on this Gospel passage each time that it arose because at first reading it appears that Jesus does not show any empathy or regard for Martha’s gift of hospitality nor for all the work she is doing. All the men are sitting around listening to Jesus with Mary doing the same, and who is left to do all the work? Martha.
It is not only deacon’s wives who carry extra weight and burdens in support on the home front to allow their husbands the time to serve, (While JoAnn was still alive, the time it took me to write these daily posts was less time I spent with JoAnn or less time to devote to the needs of our home) but many wives who are full-time homemakers, run in-home businesses or carry a job outside the home, as well as caring for the children, overseeing the bills, the day to day grind, find themselves at times, rightly so, underappreciated, undervalued, and not respected for all they do.
Husbands can do a better job of being present, more patient, respectful, and attentive to their wives and be more of an equal partner on the journey. All of us, female or male, could also be better served when we follow this pattern of attention and priority: For those married as well as single put God first, then family, work, and our unique vocation.
With all the above as a prelude, I do not believe that Jesus was disregarding Martha. Especially in the Gospel of Luke, there are many instances in which Jesus empowers women so far beyond the cultural reality of his time. We read this as we do any biblical account from our twenty-first-century mindset. Contextually, the men sitting at the teacher’s feet in a different room, the women cooking, and most times eating separately were commonplace for those in the ancient near east of the first century AD. Mary was the only person out of step with the times.
Jesus said that Martha was worried about many things. Mary could have been one of those worries, and not so much that Mary wasn’t helping in the kitchen, but because she was breaking the social norm of sitting with the men. When Martha calls Jesus to redirect Mary, she probably expects him to support her plea. Yet, Jesus acknowledges that “Mary has chosen the better part” of sitting and having her primary focus be on him. I can visualize Martha being taken aback at first, but then slowly feeling the muscles in her face relax as the lightbulb went on, she chooses to let go of her anxiety, take her apron off, throw it to the side, and sit down next to Mary.
There is biblical evidence that beyond the Twelve, Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, were Jesus’ friends. When Jesus came four days after the death of Lazarus, as soon as Martha heard Jesus was outside, she, not Mary, came immediately out to Jesus, and in that exchange, it was Martha who made the claim that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of God (cf Jn 11:27). Would she have had this insight, the same as Peter, if she was still holding a grudge?
Our modern reaction and push back to this Martha and Mary account in Luke may not so much be a reflection on Jesus but how poorly men have treated women over the generations and how poorly women continue to be treated even today. No matter their ages, young, old, and everywhere in between, women are human beings created in the image and likeness of God. No one has the right to abuse, demean, disparage, devalue, or exploit any woman. Women are to be appreciated, heard, respected, cherished, and valued.
God has given each of us gifts and ways to participate in his Father’s plan. May we seek to be still and rest in Jesus’ presence as Mary, and hopefully Martha, did. In this way, our anxiety can begin to reside as we experience feeling safe and we will come to know and experience his love. Doing so will help us to better know Jesus, his voice, and his teaching, know and follow his will, love others as he loves us, and live our lives respecting, encouraging, and supporting one another with the gifts and guidance that God has given us.
Photo: One of the ways that I sit at Jesus’ feet and experience his peace, Rosary walks on our campus here at Holy Cross, Vero Beach. Praying for the west coast of Florida and all in the path of Milton.