Our gospel today is relatable to anyone hearing or reading it because each of us have experienced family life in all of the different ways family life can be expressed today. At one point or another we have experienced conflict, misunderstanding, and anxiety.
The Bible is good about not covering over the complexities and challenges of life. If the Holy Family can have difficulty, then that can give us comfort if we have gone, or are going through some challenges right now.
One point that jumps out from the start is that Joseph and Mary are not helicopter parents. After celebrating the Passover, they have left the temple and Jerusalem and are heading back home to Nazareth. Because such a journey was not a safe one, they were traveling in a caravan of extended family, friends, and neighbors. After a day into their trek, they realized that they had not seen Jesus and began a more intense search.
Jesus was nowhere to be found and so they returned to Jerusalem. With each step their concern rose. The ancient near East was not a safe place to travel in nor was it safe to dwell. Children were often kidnapped and sold into slavery. When we don’t understand or are faced with the unknown, we typically conjure up the worst case scenarios and Joseph and Mary were no different. By the time that they found him after their three days of searching, they were filled “with great anxiety.”
Jesus, in typical pre-teen fashion did not seem to appreciate their need for anxiety. He was safe all along among the teachers in the temple. Where else would he be? Neither Joseph nor Mary understood what Jesus was talking about. What happened next is a good response to a lack of understanding.
There was no argument. Jesus was found safe and sound. It was time to go. Jesus was obedient and followed. Joseph was quiet. Mary pondered and “kept all these things in her heart.” We are not given to know the conversation between them on their way back home, but what Luke does share was that, “Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.”
Jesus did so because he was obedient to “God and man.” And that made a big difference.
Joseph and Mary reacted in the natural way that parents missing their child would react, with concern and anxiety. What they did not allow to happen was to allow their emotions override their reason. Jesus didn’t see anything wrong with what he did because he was following the direction of his Father. He didn’t seem to pick up on the point that he failed to share that little detail with Mary and instead assumed they would know where he was.
This is a powerful affirmation regarding Joseph and Mary’s faith. They were not only faithful to the annual Passover pilgrimage, but they showed their faithfulness to following God’s lead from the beginning of Jesus’ conception. They more than likely passed on their stalwart faith onto Jesus such that he believed that they would know where he was. Yet when he realized this was not true, he obediently followed his parents back to Nazareth.
The three days searching for Jesus would also be a preparation for turning to God and trusting him during another three days in which Jesus remained on a stone slab lying in a tomb. Mary trusted again during her time of anguish of not knowing. Not knowing if or how Jesus would come back from the dead after his brutal death on the cross.
What spending any time in the school of the Holy Family will teach us, is that we are to place our trust in God first. We are to ponder more and react less. This does not mean we will understand God’s will each time, it does not mean that we will be free of suffering or anxiety, nor will we be free of conflict with those we love. Yet, when we resist placing ourselves front and center and instead remain faithful to and seek God’s will in every situation, when we resist reacting and seek to understand, when we are willing to forgive, there will be a better chance of healing and reconciliation sooner.
In times of conflict and misunderstanding, when our intent is to will each other’s good, even when we see things differently and disagree, we will be better off turning to God and trusting in him. We will do better when we are willing to breathe and listen to the one speaking as well as the Holy Spirit that will give us the words to speak or the pause to be silent. Pondering and seeking to understand the will of God as Mary did is a course of action that will bring about better benefits.
One powerful tool of prayer that helps us to be more patient, understanding, and forgiving one another is to spend time quietly meditating and contemplating the mysteries of the Rosary, like this fifth joyful mystery of Mary and Joseph finding Jesus in the temple. For each of us, Mary “continues to relate her personal account of the Gospel. Mary constantly sets before the faithful the ‘mysteries’ of her Son, with the desire that the contemplation of those mysteries will release all their saving power. In the recitation of the Rosary, the Christian community enters into contact with the memories and the contemplative gaze of Mary” (St. John Paul II, The Rosary of the Virgin Mary).
Photo: Our Lady of Grace on the grounds of Joseph and Mary Retreat House, Mundelein, Il, where I was blessed to spend a 30 day silent retreat. Learned much from Mary’s memory!!!
Spiritual Stepping Stones 