The Gospel reading for today from John is painful on two fronts. First, Jesus said to Judas, “What you are going to do, do quickly” (Jn 13:27). Did their eyes meet at that moment, was there an unspoken appeal from Jesus to Judas, or had that already been settled? Judas aligned himself with Satan and set his course. Worse, he removed himself from Jesus and his companions and it was night.
Reference to night in the Bible is typically not a good sign. This is not only the time of day, it is also the spiritual absence of the light in which Judas has now entered. This night has also begun its descent upon Peter as well, although he is not yet fully conscious of the darkness creeping upon him as well.
The second front appears at the end of today’s reading. Despite Peter’s apparent full endorsement of Jesus and promise to even lay his life down for him, Jesus predicted that “the cock will not crow until” Peter will deny him “three times” (Jn 13:38). The momentum of utter betrayal builds. Judas will agree to turn Jesus over for thirty pieces of silver. He will betray the Son of God, yet in so doing, Judas will play his part in salvation history.
Judas will set in motion Jesus’ arrest that will culminate in his crucifixion. Peter will come to deny Jesus three times as Jesus predicted. I cannot think of any experience worse than the pain of betrayal. Yet, how is it that we betray Jesus each day? Remember what he taught us, “What you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me” (Mt 25:45). Who and how have we betrayed Jesus in our lives? This is an important question to ask, and what is even more important is that we not only answer it honestly but seek forgiveness and resist the temptation of isolating ourselves in our sin and pride.
Judas separated himself, cut himself off from Jesus and his companions. As we read or heard this past Sunday, Judas realized his sin, though he did not seek forgiveness. He chose to isolate himself further and in his despair took his life. Peter, also regretted his sin, his cowardice, he wept when he heard the cock crow, but he also trusted, and later affirmed his love for Jesus three times, atoning for his three denials and was forgiven.
This Holy Week we can choose to walk the path of Judas or Peter. With each humble step may we come to see how our spirits are often willing but our bodies are weak, that we have been wounded by others and acted in kind, so falling short of who God has called us to be in what we have done and what we have failed to do.
Through our awareness of our unworthiness though, we must resist isolating and beating ourselves up, but instead recognize that Jesus has come not to call the righteous but sinners. That is Good News! Jesus has come to save us, free us from our sin. We can begin this Holy Week by repenting and seeking forgiveness, and walk out of the darkness, resist the temptation of isolation, and walk into the light. Confessing our sins, we will be forgiven, we will receive the love of Jesus, so that we can rest and abide there, and continue our journey of healing so that we will become wounded healers like Peter and the apostles!
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Photo: Looking up and to the things of heaven. A good practice for Holy Week and a good way to breathe deep and allow ourselves to be loved by God and experience some healing.
Spiritual Stepping Stones 