“And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Lk 11:9).
Prayer can become frustrating when we make the time to pray and then we feel or think that nothing is happening or has happened. We may pray for a specific petition for our self, or for a particular intention for another and felt, or thought, that there was not an answer from God. One may pray a sincere, seemingly selfless prayer for a loved one, a child, a spouse, a friend, to be healed and the person still dies. They may be deeply hurt because they did what Jesus said; they asked, they pleaded and begged, but felt they did not receive the healing; that which they sought for, was not given and, instead what they found was nothing but pain and heartache from the loss; they knocked until their knuckles were raw and experienced no one on the other side.
Our attitude and orientation to prayer matters. When we sincerely turn our hearts and minds to God in prayer, something happens between us and God, though it may be beyond our cognitive grasp to understand or our sensory awareness to experience. There may indeed be emotional highs and consolations experienced in prayer, but if seeking those is the primary motivation for prayer we will find ourselves more frustrated than not. There may also be lows in prayer, dryness, even desolations, and even feeling God’s absence. Emotions are fleeting and not a good barometer when measuring the effectiveness of prayer.
Another big misconception is that we pray to God as if he were a gumball machine. It may seem a silly analogy but how many of us really do pray and only pray that way, and when we do not receive the specific thing we asked for, at the time specified, when we wanted and as we wanted, we brood and think God doesn’t care or does not, in fact, even exist. We may even slip into the barter posture. God if you grant me this, I will do that. If we are only open to receive what we want on our terms, again we are setting ourselves up for frustration.
The very desire to pray is the beginning of our awareness of God’s invitation offered to us to join him in prayer. God is the one who reaches out to us first. The answer to what or who we ask, seek, and knock is found at the end of the Gospel reading for today: “If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him” (Lk 11:13)?
God knows what is best for us, he sees our potential, he wants us to experience joy and be fulfilled. How can we best live our lives in this world to attain that reality? We do so by receiving the Holy Spirit. Who is the Holy Spirit? The infinite, communal love expressed between God the Father and God the Son. Our goal in prayer is to enter into God’s reality, the infinite communion of Love.
Through building a relationship with God, which we are able to do through our participation and conformation to the life of Jesus, we come to see the truth of empty promises, apparent goods, substitutes to fill our emptiness and faulty defense mechanisms that we have been utilizing as guideposts to merely survive and get through life. When we stay consistent in an authentic life of prayer, we will change, we be aware and be able to let go of that which is false and will begin to bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control (cf. Galatians 5:22-23)?
We need to resist running away from apparent unanswered prayers, the pain of loss, and accept sometimes not knowing, and to trust that God has not abandoned us. He is with us in everything. Prayer is not primarily what we ask and that we receive. Prayer is a willingness to hear God’s invitation to enter into a deeper and more intimate relationship with him. Accepting this as a starting point will open a doorway leading into the open arms and embrace of his Son, Jesus, who awaits us in the depth of our need, confusion, grief, and pain. Even our loved ones who have died have not come to an end but have experienced a new beginning with our loving God and Father. JoAnn said in her last few weeks that she was just changing her address.
Ultimately, what we ask, what we seek, and what we knock for when we pray is to be loved, to belong, to be a part of someone greater than ourselves. We have been created as a living, craving hunger, and desire to be in relationship with God and each other. This is true for the atheist and the mystic alike. We have been created to be loved and to love. To experience God’s love in our time of prayer, it is important to make time consistently to do so, to then breathe and recollect, to be still and let our thoughts come, go, and settle down. Then we can have a conversation, speak with God and listen to him and experience the Holy Spirit in the silence of our hearts.
The Holy Spirit is the gift of prayer that is open to us all. He is the love shared between the Father and the Son, that we too can experience even during our sorrow, trials, and tribulations, as well as during our times of celebrations, overcoming, and rejoicing. This is why he is the answer to our prayers. Sometimes to be aware of his presence takes perseverance. It may not be that God is not answering, but that we are not patient enough to receive the answer. We may not be silent enough to hear. Prayer is about building a relationship and like any other relationship, we may need more time to heal and/or to build trust, and a willingness to consistently spend time together. Most importantly, we need to learn to communicate and that means learning God’s profound language of silence.
Photo: Damage from tornado taken last night. Compare to picture posted for last Sunday’s reflection. Walking in God’s silence and asking him to help all effected by this storm and us here at Holy Cross Catholic Church, Vero Beach.
Spiritual Stepping Stones