“This is my commandment: love one another as I love you” (Jn 15:12).
God created us from the abundance and outpouring of his trinitarian love to be loved, and to love him in return. The love that Jesus is talking about is unconditional and not just relegated to those closest to us, although, hopefully, in our families and friendships is where we first experienced being loved and learned to love in return.
The love that Jesus commands that we are to participate in as his followers, is a going out from, a giving of ourselves to, and a willingness to sacrifice for one another. We are not to seek in return, but are to empty and give ourselves away. The return we get is from experiencing the infinite wellspring and source of the Holy Spirit that rises up within us. The more we hold back, the less we receive, the more we give, the more we experience. We are to resist withdrawing our love and assuming a selfish posture that leads to us becoming more like a stagnant pool. Instead, we are to remain open so as to allow the living stream of God’s infinite love to flow through us.
The love Jesus commands cannot be done on the fly. Love is accepting the interruption and choosing to be present. Love means stopping, setting aside our agendas, and accompanying another. Love is also not coercion and manipulation, it is accepting another as they are and where they are. Love is sharing the journey of life together. St Thomas Aquinas has written it best: Love is to will the good of the other as other. This is more than mere emotion, feeling, or sentiment but actually wanting the best for someone else and rejoicing in their becoming fully alive. Nor does this mean that we become doormats or enablers of dysfunctional or abusive behavior. We hold people accountable – for to love is also to be clear about respecting our’s and another’s dignity.
This practice of love is also not exclusive but universal. Yes, we are to love those in our family, community, place of worship, tribe, political party, and nation, while at the same time we must be willing to go out from our comfort zones and protected bubbles to risk opening ourselves up to those who we feel are different, those who do not see the world as we see it, and even those we consider our enemies. This does not mean we have to agree or even like someone else. Jesus commands us to love, to respect the dignity of the person as our starting point. This is the love he offers us and calls us to do the same.
A dialogue grounded in love is a wonderful way to grow in relationship. Speaking and listening with a heart and mind open to the love of God is also a good way to participate in the divine communion of love that is shared between the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Authentic communication happens when we state clearly our beliefs, our thoughts, and dreams, and also allow others to do the same. Even though we may differ in our points of view, we can still grow together in love for one another.
When we talk at and over one another, demean, belittle, and/or are condescending, we dehumanize each other. Pope Leo has invited us to be “a Church that builds bridges and encourages dialogue, a Church ever open to welcoming”. We welcome and build such bridges of such dialogue when we are willing to resist staying at a distance and are more willing to come close, to love, and respect one another. From that starting point we are better able to encounter the person and free ourselves from prejudicial caricatures and labels that hopefully will dissolve through our interaction and respectfully engaging with one another.
Instead of keeping each other at arm’s length, when we are willing to love as Jesus loves us, we will better be able to listen with patience and understanding. We will learn to embrace and grow from one another. From a place of mutual, loving dialogue, we can recognize and remember again who we are, beloved daughters and sons of God our Father, friends, brothers and sisters together on this journey we call life.
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Photo: Making some time to be in quiet conversation with Jesus, to receive his love and love him in return. Giving ourselves time to experience loving dialogue with Jesus helps us to better enter into loving dialogue with each other.
Pope Leo XIV quote from his May 8 Ubi et Orbi message
Spiritual Stepping Stones 