“You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father” (Mt 5:43-45). With these words, Jesus continues to raise the bar of discipleship and outlines what the pursuit of love truly is.
For many people, as Bob Dylan wrote and Joan Baez has sung, “love is just a four-letter word.” But the love that Jesus calls us to is not romantic, emotional, or mere sentimentality, though this may be healthy in that when we have feelings of infatuation we are drawn out from ourselves to another, but this kind of love has no depth and is based on physical or emotional attraction. To be real it must mature to the level of friendship.
The bond of friendship and family goes beyond mere attraction and is built through shared interests and experiences. Through sharing our lives with others, working through conflicts, trust is built, and relationships will hopefully grow and deepen. Jesus, though, is calling us to mature in our growth of loving even beyond friendship or familial ties. If we love those who willingly love us in return, greet only our brothers and sisters, only those in our clique, group, tribe, or political party, what is the recompense or satisfaction in that? Agape, in Greek, loving without conditions, with little or no chance of mutual exchange, is what Jesus is calling us to strive for.
Many of us could not conceive of loving our enemy or someone who is persecuting us, because we have, at best only experienced doing no overt harm to others and loved our friends and family. But do we risk going outside of our group, our like-minded safety net? Life is hard enough and it is often safer, we believe, not to take the risk. We continue to operate from a concept of love as an emotion or feeling, because it feels good. We want to be happy and feel good. We avoid suffering at all costs. Even though without something deeper this superficial love does not last.
How can Jesus ask us to love an enemy or pray for someone who persecutes us? The original hearers of Jesus’ statement heard love your enemies and would automatically be drawn to the Roman occupiers who were oppressing and taxing them. I am not sure they were receiving this teaching with open arms. St. Thomas Aquinas can be of help. He defined the love that Jesus describes as willing the good of the other as other. We make an act of the will, a free choice to accept the person as they are, to see them, not from our limited finite perspective but as God sees them, as a person with dignity. Can we pray for, embrace kinder thoughts, seek to be more understanding, be more patient, actively offer kind words, and resist reacting toward those who we consider as different than us? Can we resist judging and labeling others?
On our own, we may not even conceive of the possibility, but we can be assured that if Jesus has asked us to strive for this height and depth of love, he will provide the means and support. We love others unconditionally by allowing Jesus to love us. To rest, receive, and abide in his love. As we are willing to do so daily, we will begin to experience and be transformed by his love and begin to allow God to love others through us.
We strive to reach the summit of loving our enemy only with the help of the Holy Spirit. Jesus called his disciples and he calls us to “imitate God by being perfect in love… to reflect the Father’s perfect, committed, selfless, merciful love in their own lives… to go beyond external conformity to the requirements of the law and imitate the perfect love of the heavenly Father, who is love himself” (Mitch and Sri, 101).
Even if we fall short, how much better would our country and the world be if we sought this as our goal? To counter divisiveness, fear, and hatred, we need to choose to engage in an act of the will to love one another as Jesus loves us. Pope Francis summed up his work with the Grand Imam, Sheikh Ahmad Al-Tayyeb back in February 4, 2021 when he said, “Fraternity is the new frontier for humanity. It is the challenge of our century, the challenge of our times. There is no time for indifference. Either we are brothers and sisters or we will destroy each other…. A world without fraternity is a world of enemies.”
Photo: Jesus modeled loving his enemies best on the cross when he asked his Father to “forgive them for they know not what they do.” Taken Holy Week last year while staying at Our Lady of Florida Spiritual Retreat Center.
Curtis Mitch and Edward Sri. The Gospel of Matthew. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2010
Spiritual Stepping Stones 