rosary

Standing in our sorrows with Jesus and Mary will help us to experience healing and joy.

When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home (Jn 19:26-27).

During the summer of 1991, I joined the Franciscans of Holy Name Province as a pre-novitiate and was stationed at Holy Cross Friary in the Bronx. My ministry for that year was working in the friary and the adjoining parish of Holy Cross. Shortly after entering, one of the friars, Br. Paul Goldie, died. He had been serving at the friary since 1953 and had been a friar for 54 years. A practice among the friars was to pass on personal items to those in the community when one of their own passed away. I was honored to have been given a picture of St. Francis, that hangs in my room in the rectory of Holy Cross and Br. Paul’s rosary.

I noticed that the rosary was different from others but didn’t ask any of the friars, most likely because I already felt self conscious about how little I knew about Catholicism. Instead of a crucifix it had a Miraculous Medal, instead of five beads there were three beads leading to the decades of beads, and instead of five decades of beads, there were seven groupings of seven beads. In between each of the series of seven beads there was a small medal. On one side was a picture of Mary pierced in the heart seven times, and on the back of each medal was a different scene.

I would find out some time later that this was a Rosary of Our Lady of Sorrows. The depictions on the back of the seven medals represented Mary’s seven sorrows: Simeon announces the suffering destiny of Jesus, Mary escapes into Egypt with Jesus and Joseph, Mary seeks Jesus lost in Jerusalem, Mary meets Jesus as He carries his Cross to Calvary, Mary stands near the Cross of her Son Jesus, Mary receives into her arms the body of Jesus taken down from the Cross, and Mary helps place the body of Jesus in the tomb.

The fifth mystery, Mary stands near the Cross of her Son Jesus, is from our Gospel reading today. For Mary to witness her son dying such an agonizing death, it must have been the most sorrowful of the seven. Yet, Mary did not run from the pain, she embraced his and her own pain, the piercing of the lance, pierced her own heart, into the depths of her own soul. Mary, though free of sin, was not free of the pain of a fallen world. In fact, Mary, like Jesus, felt it more deeply.

By being willing to love, we risk experiencing and entering into the pain of those we love. So many times we run from love, because we do not want to experience the pain relationships entail. We are finite and fragile beings, and so we will let each other down, we will make mistakes, say the wrong things, do hurtful things, we will get sick or deal with chronic illness and need care, we will lose patience, we will sin, and those we care about will die. Jesus though calls us, like Mary and John present at the Cross, to remain present to one another, to love, to will the good of the other, and so to experience the fruit of an authentic relationship which is grounded in the unimaginable love that God the Father has for us.

Love is the bond of communion that gives us the strength to move through the crossroads and upheavals of life. Love is the bond of commitment that draws us out from our selfishness so to learn from one another, to grow stronger together, and to be present to one another. Where there is an authentic relationship, there is love at its foundation. When we love one another, we participate in the communion of the Holy Trinity, we participate in the very same divine communion of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Is there risk of rejection in loving another? Yes. Is there pain in love? Yes. Is there conflict in relationship? Yes. Yet to be fulfilled, to be fully alive, for love to be real, we must be willing to take the risk to love and be rejected, just as God does with us. As we enter relationships or strive for better authenticity in our present relationships, we must be willing to love, to commit, be present, to sacrifice and share our pain and experience another’s pain. We must be willing to stand by each other in our imperfections as well as be humble and willing to offer and seek forgiveness and reconciliation.

We cannot come close to imagining what Mary and John experienced with Jesus at the climax of his crucifixion. Each of them embraced horrific pain and sorrow at the foot of the cross, yet they remained, and so they were able to mourn, heal, and experience the full joy of the Resurrection. At the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, they also experienced the divine communion of love between the Father and the Son and shared that same love and commitment with the community of Jesus’ followers and those who had never met him.

Br. Paul’s Rosary of the Seven Sorrows, is a reminder for me of the brotherhood I shared with the friars for the year and a half that I was with them. It is also a reminder that there will be pain and struggles in this life but that I am not alone. Mourning JoAnn’s death from 2019 and recovering from Covid and double pneumonia in 2021 are realities that I am continuing to heal and learn from. Not running away from but standing alongside Mary and John have helped me to face these and other challenges and experience Jesus waiting with his arms wide open to embrace and walk with me time and again.

We can trust Jesus and Mary, as well as John and the apostles, and turn to them when we are faced with challenges and suffering. Praying with the mysteries of the Rosary or the Seven Sorrows can be of great help. When we resist merely reciting but instead slowly pray and ponder the mysteries, we can experience with Jesus and Mary how they were able to face their suffering. They in turn will gently guide us to experience and face our own pain and challenges, and provide comfort and healing.

Photo: Br. Paul’s Seven Sorrows Rosary on the right, Franciscan Crown (Seven Joys of the Blessed Virgin) Rosary on the left, and standard five decade Rosary in the center. We can walk with Jesus and Mary in any and every season!

Link for the Mass readings for Monday, September 15, 2025

“Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.”

There was no one on this earth closer to Jesus than Mary. He was conceived in her womb, she bore him, nursed him, raised him, initiated his public ministry, held him in her arms as he was taken down from the cross, and she was with the Apostles in the upper room when the Holy Spirit descended upon them. Mary from her own beginning, through God’s grace, experienced an Immaculate Conception. When her time came to leave this life, who better than Mary to have experienced the “singular participation in her Son’s resurrection and an anticipation of the resurrection of other Christians” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1997, 966)?

Today we celebrate the official dogmatic constitution issued by Pope Pius XII in 1950, the Assumption of Mary, acknowledging what the Church has recognized from the beginning, the special grace she received from her Son. Jesus is the promise and Mary is the hope that we will live eternally with our heavenly Father, for Mary is now where we will one day be, body and soul.

Jesus and Mary have undone the sin of Adam and Eve. They, in their continual faithful life of saying yes to the will of God, opened up heaven for us. In our darkest trials, when the storm clouds of injustice, racism, violence, division, and polarization gather, when a situation or conflict does not appear to be getting any better, when death may be imminent, and/or when a loved one has died, even then, death does not have the last word because we are not alone.

As St. Paul wrote to the Church in Corinth, “Christ has been raised from the dead” (1 Corinthians 15:20). Jesus is the first born of the new creation. We are invited to join Jesus in participating in his new Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, preparing ourselves in this life for eternity in the next. How? By doing what Jesus and Mary did. We are to open our hearts and minds to God, hear and observe his word, and put into practice what we receive.

Mary was not blessed so much because she gave birth to the Son of God but because she heard the Word of God, pondered it in her heart, obeyed, and put it into practice. This is why the Church calls Mary the model of discipleship. Just as the moon does not radiate because of its own light but reflects the light from the Sun, so Mary reflects the light of her Son.

Mary radiates the light of Jesus in her thoughts, words, and deeds and we are to do the same such that when people look at us they no longer see us but the love of Jesus radiating from us. How do we radiate Christ to others? We become deified, our likeness to God is to be restored through our participation in the life of Jesus. This happens when we make a daily commitment to meditate, pray, and contemplate the words that God has given to us in Sacred Scripture, so as to allow the Holy Spirit to transform us by the holy fire of his love.

A simple way to begin is to commit to a time and place every day to ponder the mysteries of Jesus and Mary. One beautiful way is to practice the Rosary which embodies all three of the traditional forms of Catholic prayer, vocal, meditative, and contemplative. You may feel that praying a Rosary in one setting is too much of a task to undertake, then start with one mystery. Make the Sign of the Cross, take in three, deep breathes for each Person of the Trinity, announce the mystery and begin to ponder the mystery you have chosen.

Since today we are celebrating the Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary, ponder this beautiful mystery. The Lord’s Prayer helps to quiet our minds so we can ponder. Each Hail Mary, like background noise in a movie, helps our minds to resist distraction. Then as our mind stills we can stop the vocal part of the prayer and just imagine Mary’s final hours, maybe with the Apostle John by her side. We can imagine ourselves joining him and experiencing the peace of not only her passing but of her Assumption into heaven, body and soul. We can contemplatively rest in God’s peace that we have received from our time with Mary and the promise that she is where we will one day be and remember who we are, beloved daughters and sons of our loving God and Father.

Photo: “… by her Assumption, she goes ahead like her son to prepare a way for us.” – From The World’s First Love, by Fulton J. Sheen.

Link for the Mass readings for Friday, August 15, 2025

Spending time with Mary and sharing in her memory will help us in healing ourselves and our relationships.

Our gospel today is relatable to anyone hearing or reading it because each of us have experienced family life in all of the different ways family life can be expressed today. At one point or another we have experienced conflict, misunderstanding, and anxiety.

The Bible is good about not covering over the complexities and challenges of life. If the Holy Family can have difficulty, then that can give us comfort if we have gone, or are going through some challenges right now. 

One point that jumps out from the start is that Joseph and Mary are not helicopter parents. After celebrating the Passover, they have left the temple and Jerusalem and are heading back home to Nazareth. Because such a journey was not a safe one, they were traveling in a caravan of extended family, friends, and neighbors. After a day into their trek, they realized that they had not seen Jesus and began a more intense search.

Jesus was nowhere to be found and so they returned to Jerusalem. With each step their concern rose. The ancient near East was not a safe place to travel in nor was it safe to dwell. Children were often kidnapped and sold into slavery. When we don’t understand or are faced with the unknown, we typically conjure up the worst case scenarios and Joseph and Mary were no different. By the time that they found him after their three days of searching, they were filled  “with great anxiety.” 

Jesus, in typical pre-teen fashion did not seem to appreciate their need for anxiety. He was safe all along among the teachers in the temple. Where else would he be? Neither Joseph nor Mary understood what Jesus was talking about. What happened next is a good response to a lack of understanding. 

There was no argument. Jesus was found safe and sound. It was time to go. Jesus was obedient and followed. Joseph was quiet. Mary pondered and “kept all these things in her heart.” We are not given to know the conversation between them on their way back home, but what Luke does share was that, “Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.”

Jesus did so because he was obedient to “God and man.” And that made a big difference.

Joseph and Mary reacted in the natural way that parents missing their child would react, with concern and anxiety. What they did not allow to happen was to allow their emotions override their reason. Jesus didn’t see anything wrong with what he did because he was following the direction of his Father. He didn’t seem to pick up on the point that he failed to share that little detail with Mary and instead assumed they would know where he was.

This is a powerful affirmation regarding Joseph and Mary’s faith. They were not only faithful to the annual Passover pilgrimage, but they showed their faithfulness to following God’s lead from the beginning of Jesus’ conception. They more than likely passed on their stalwart faith onto Jesus such that he believed that they would know where he was. Yet when he realized this was not true, he obediently followed his parents back to Nazareth.

The three days searching for Jesus would also be a preparation for turning to God and trusting him during another three days in which Jesus remained on a stone slab lying in a tomb. Mary trusted again during her time of anguish of not knowing. Not knowing if or how Jesus would come back from the dead after his brutal death on the cross. 

What spending any time in the school of the Holy Family will teach us, is that we are to place our trust in God first. We are to ponder more and react less. This does not mean we will understand God’s will each time, it does not mean that we will be free of suffering or anxiety, nor will we be free of conflict with those we love. Yet, when we resist placing ourselves front and center and instead remain faithful to and seek God’s will in every situation, when we resist reacting and seek to understand, when we are willing to forgive, there will be a better chance of healing and reconciliation sooner. 

In times of conflict and misunderstanding, when our intent is to will each other’s good, even when we see things differently and disagree, we will be better off turning to God and trusting in him. We will do better when we are willing to breathe and listen to the one speaking as well as the Holy Spirit that will give us the words to speak or the pause to be silent. Pondering and seeking to understand the will of God as Mary did is a course of action that will bring about better benefits. 

One powerful tool of prayer that helps us to be more patient, understanding, and forgiving one another is to spend time quietly meditating and contemplating the mysteries of the Rosary, like this fifth joyful mystery of Mary and Joseph finding Jesus in the temple. For each of us, Mary “continues to relate her personal account of the Gospel. Mary constantly sets before the faithful the ‘mysteries’ of her Son, with the desire that the contemplation of those mysteries will release all their saving power. In the recitation of the Rosary, the Christian community enters into contact with the memories and the contemplative gaze of Mary” (St. John Paul II, The Rosary of the Virgin Mary).

Photo: Our Lady of Grace on the grounds of Joseph and Mary Retreat House, Mundelein, Il, where I was blessed to spend a 30 day silent retreat. Learned much from Mary’s memory!!!

Link for the Mass readings for Sunday, December 29, 2024