My wife, JoAnn, asked me on a couple of occasions what were the favorite clothes of mine that she wore that I would like her to pack for our trip. I said the ones that you feel most comfortable in. She also shared with me what clothes she liked on me, including a pair of black, skinny jeans.

The reason we were having this conversation was because we were moving to Los Angeles. JoAnn had been diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer and we were moving to LA, for her final months this side of heaven.

With all packed, JoAnn flew ahead to Los Angeles with Jack. I would follow two weeks later after I finished out the school year. When I arrived and we were unpacking, JoAnn said, “You didn’t pack your black, skinny jeans.” The look on her face pierced my heart. We didn’t talk about it again.

About four months later and a few days after JoAnn died. The image of the look on her face came back to me again, and with some time to think, I realized that JoAnn was focusing on the clothes because these would be our last weeks together and why not dress in clothes that we both liked on each other. I was devastated that I missed it. The feeling also brought up times throughout our marriage where I did not make the time to listen to JoAnn, where I was impatient, and even treated her with contempt.

In that moment I experienced a deep sense of contrition at how I must have hurt JoAnn in those times. I cried as I walked to the cathedral in downtown LA which was about a half mile away. I got myself together and then fell apart again as I confessed to the priest. When I finished, he said that JoAnn forgave me, and that God forgave me.

Mercy, in Hebrew – Chesed – tender compassion.

God’s mercy, his tender compassion, is what I felt in that moment.

This is what Jesus is calling us to receive and be in our Gospel today. We are to be merciful, just as our Father is merciful with us.

Lent is a time to experience the mercy, forgiveness, and love of God. We do so when we are willing to be humble enough to allow Jesus to show us our sin, where we have fallen short of loving him, ourselves, and one another as he has created us to be. When we see our sin, Jesus does not condemn, berate, or demean us. If we experience any of that, know it is the devil seeking to isolate and separate us from the mercy, forgiveness, and love God wants to embrace us with.

All God asks of us is to be ourselves, to be who he has created us to be and that is his beloved daughter or son. All the other things we think we need to be, we can let go of. We can let go of all the anxiety, stress, and confusion about who we think we ought to be and just breathe deeply, receive, rest, and abide in the love our Father wants to share with us. When we live from this experience of God’s love, we will be in a better place. And when we mess up, we just need to be contrite, confess, be forgiven, do penance, and begin again.

As I shared my experience above, I encourage you to think of a time when you have experienced God’s mercy, chesed – his tender compassion. Rest in that moment and return to it again and again today and this week. When we return to and experience these anchor moments of God’s mercy for us, we will remember who and whose we are, and we will better be able to share God’s mercy, forgiveness, and love with others.

Photo: Treasure each moment you have with those you hold close to your heart. Even in the best of circumstances, time goes too quickly and the unexpected can happen. Let those you love, know you love them, with your thoughts, words, faces, and actions.

Link for the Mass readings for Monday, February 26, 2024