“Lord, do you want us to call down fire from heaven to consume them?” Jesus turned and rebuked them, and they journeyed to another village (Lk 9:54-56).

James and John’s request of Jesus ought to be recognizable to many, if not all of us. How many times when feeling slighted or disrespected do we want to act in kind or offer some retribution to our perceived offender? Often, we do not even think, we just react or we engage in our own tumultuous, internal maelstrom.

Jesus rebuked James and John’s request immediately and moved on. He did not allow the rejection of the Samaritans to deter his course for even one second.

The most helpful response to today’s Gospel is to affirm that Jesus’ response to the Samaritan’s lack of hospitality is a healthier one than that of James and John. If we can agree with resisting to react as our starting point, then we will have a better chance to seek to understand what Jesus can teach us when encountering others.

One approach to others extending unkind behavior is to be understanding. We are all dealing with a lot, and much of what others are dealing with are unknown to us. If we approach another’s unkind or disrespectful action from a place of understanding instead of seeking revenge, we will have a better chance of not reacting in kind and possibly being able to help another to get in touch and reveal something they are struggling with.

Often a negative response may come from misunderstandings. Another response can be one of giving the person the benefit of the doubt. We are not mind-readers and we also are not often the best of communicators so resisting jumping to rash conclusions is a better course of action.

A third approach is to receive a critique with humility. Maybe, we have done something to cause hurt toward another, intentionally or unintentionally. By taking responsibility for that which we have done and apologize for it, we create a better bridge for reconciliation.

We are only responsible for our own actions. We cannot dictate or change the behaviors of others nor are we to be doormats for another’s abuse. We will experience healthier interactions when we approach conflicts and obstacles with patience, understanding, and humility for acknowledging what we have done and what we have failed to do. Even with a more understanding approach, sometimes there are those who will not be open to our efforts. St. Thérese of Lisieux found herself annoyed by one of the sisters. Whenever Thérèse saw her she would pray for her and wrote that, “when tempted to answer her sharply, I made haste to smile and change the subject”.

A smile can go a long way as well as praying for and respecting the dignity of each person we feel challenged by. There is a path between aggressive reaction and passive submission. Jesus is very clear that we are to love in all situations. We will each other’s good by clearly communicating our experience of our interaction, are willing to forgive and seek forgiveness, and to love each other through our idiosyncrasies, mistakes, and sins.

Human relationships are difficult in the best of scenarios, but still well worth the effort. Above all, when conflicts arise it is important to take a few deep breathes, pray, seek, and rely on the guidance of Jesus, and when possible seek out those who we trust. In this way, we will be less apt to react, have a healthier outlet for our frustrations, and instead see some options available that will help us to grow and mature in our relationships.

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Photo: St. Thérèse of Lisieux pray for us!

Link for the Mass readings for Tuesday, October 1, 2024