patience

Jesus commands us to love. We can begin to do so by being a little more patient and kind with one another.

“I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another” (Jn 13:34).

All of creation is an expression and an outpouring of the divine love and communion of the Trinitarian love. Love, if it is true, goes out from the self to be there for the other. St. Paul wrote that love is patient and kind (1 Cor 13:4). These are virtues that flow out of our willing the good of the other as other.

When we act with patience, we love because we resist the temptation to react and strike out. We do not seek to protect our ego, but seek to understand and be present to the person. We are willing to see beyond their brokenness, we resist fueling and feeding their frustrations by not giving in to our own impatient responses, and thereby help to dissipate any growing negativity. We love when we make an act of our will to allow Jesus to love the person through us. A helpful way to do so practically is when we first feel any sense of reaction, we breathe. We slow down. We listen and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us on how best to respond.

When we are kind, we do so because we resist returning hurtful acts with acts of love, seeking nothing in return. We are kind because this is what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. We are not kind in the hope that people are kind in return. We are kind because that is the foundation of who God has created us to be.

So often we do not know what another is going through. When someone cuts us off in the course of our travel, we do not have to react in frustration, anger, or rage, but can choose instead to send a blessing, that the driver may find peace of mind, slow down, and have a safe trip. We can pray that all those driving may drive mindfully so all may be safe on the road.

When someone is short or curt with us, instead of reacting by being sharp or snarky in return, we can take a breath, and ask Jesus in that moment to be present in us and minister through us to the person in our midst. We can choose to be open to loving the person as Jesus loves us, accepting them as they are in that moment, and being willing to allow the Holy Spirit to be present in our encounter with them.

Some good beginning steps to love another is to be patient and kind in the moment, to smile, and offer a hand in greeting, and be available to listen. These very simple acts do have a cost in that our ego and focus on self becomes less, but what we gain in return is that Jesus becomes more and we see each other as human beings. In these simple acts we say to the other, even before we have said anything with our words, that they are important to us, they have worth and dignity, because we are willing to make the time to acknowledge and respect their presence, not reacting to and defining them by their weakness and brokenness in that moment.

“This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (Jn 13:35). Let us make a commitment for today to love one another as Jesus has loved us.

Photo: Came upon this mosaic on a walk after the first few days that I arrived here at Holy Cross. Blessed to have continually been welcomed by so many kind people here this past year!

Link for the Mass readings for Sunday, May 18, 2025

We receive God’s key of knowledge to open the door to his love for ourselves and each other.

Woe to you, scholars of the law! You have taken away the key of knowledge. You yourselves did not enter and you stopped those trying to enter” (Lk 11:52).
We all yearn to be loved, to belong, to be accepted, and fulfilled. God knows the depth of our yearning better than we know ourselves. For he sees past the apparent goods that we cling to and he invites to take steps into his light that we might see the truth of his love and our fulfillment that can only happen in our relationship with him. From that core communion all else in our lives can be properly ordered.
To willingly prevent access, to those who seek, as did those for whom Jesus points to in today’s Gospel, is an egregious offense. Especially in the way that Jesus describes. They themselves have the key to enter, do not avail themselves of the gift they have received, and worse, prevent others from going in! I remember a time in eighth grade where I had wanted to ask a girl out to the school dance. I confided this hope with someone but of course, the word got out. A few days later in math class, the teacher announced to the whole class that I was the first one he had ever heard of being rejected before I could even ask them out. I wanted to melt into the floor.
Teachers, like religious leaders, are to open up greater access and care for those who have been placed in their trust. When they do the opposite by denying access, betraying that trust, belittle, or worse abuse those they are charged to empower, they slam doors in the faces of those who seek to be loved and belong. We are to resist any temptation to demean, dehumanize, or crush the spirit of anyone and instead seek to be understanding, kind, and present. The “key of knowledge” Jesus wants to share, is to open, not lock others out of their access to Jesus and his truth.
Each of us is hungry for God. Not only are we to seek him but also to help others along the journey to experience him. We are to love and support one another, even when they express their hunger in not the most pleasant of ways. Here it is even more important that we resist reacting in kind and slipping into a defensive posture. Instead, let us be patient, understanding, and willing to listen with our spirit instead of our ego for what their need truly may be. May we not be a closed door but one that is open to share the healing love that we have received from Jesus.
As Pope Francis said: “Each one of us is called to be an artisan of peace, by uniting and not dividing, by extinguishing hatred and not holding on to it, by opening paths to dialogue and not by constructing new walls! Let us dialogue and meet one another in order to establish a culture of dialogue in the world, a culture of encounter.”
Photo: Making time to be still and quiet can help us to feel God’s peace and help us to be more patient with one another.
Link for the Mass readings for Thursday, October 17, 2024

“When tempted to answer her sharply, I made haste to smile”. – St. Thérèse of Lisieux

“Lord, do you want us to call down fire from heaven to consume them?” Jesus turned and rebuked them, and they journeyed to another village (Lk 9:54-56).

James and John’s request of Jesus ought to be recognizable to many, if not all of us. How many times when feeling slighted or disrespected do we want to act in kind or offer some retribution to our perceived offender? Often, we do not even think, we just react or we engage in our own tumultuous, internal maelstrom.

Jesus rebuked James and John’s request immediately and moved on. He did not allow the rejection of the Samaritans to deter his course for even one second.

The most helpful response to today’s Gospel is to affirm that Jesus’ response to the Samaritan’s lack of hospitality is a healthier one than that of James and John. If we can agree with resisting to react as our starting point, then we will have a better chance to seek to understand what Jesus can teach us when encountering others.

One approach to others extending unkind behavior is to be understanding. We are all dealing with a lot, and much of what others are dealing with are unknown to us. If we approach another’s unkind or disrespectful action from a place of understanding instead of seeking revenge, we will have a better chance of not reacting in kind and possibly being able to help another to get in touch and reveal something they are struggling with.

Often a negative response may come from misunderstandings. Another response can be one of giving the person the benefit of the doubt. We are not mind-readers and we also are not often the best of communicators so resisting jumping to rash conclusions is a better course of action.

A third approach is to receive a critique with humility. Maybe, we have done something to cause hurt toward another, intentionally or unintentionally. By taking responsibility for that which we have done and apologize for it, we create a better bridge for reconciliation.

We are only responsible for our own actions. We cannot dictate or change the behaviors of others nor are we to be doormats for another’s abuse. We will experience healthier interactions when we approach conflicts and obstacles with patience, understanding, and humility for acknowledging what we have done and what we have failed to do. Even with a more understanding approach, sometimes there are those who will not be open to our efforts. St. Thérese of Lisieux found herself annoyed by one of the sisters. Whenever Thérèse saw her she would pray for her and wrote that, “when tempted to answer her sharply, I made haste to smile and change the subject”.

A smile can go a long way as well as praying for and respecting the dignity of each person we feel challenged by. There is a path between aggressive reaction and passive submission. Jesus is very clear that we are to love in all situations. We will each other’s good by clearly communicating our experience of our interaction, are willing to forgive and seek forgiveness, and to love each other through our idiosyncrasies, mistakes, and sins.

Human relationships are difficult in the best of scenarios, but still well worth the effort. Above all, when conflicts arise it is important to take a few deep breathes, pray, seek, and rely on the guidance of Jesus, and when possible seek out those who we trust. In this way, we will be less apt to react, have a healthier outlet for our frustrations, and instead see some options available that will help us to grow and mature in our relationships.

—————————————————

Photo: St. Thérèse of Lisieux pray for us!

Link for the Mass readings for Tuesday, October 1, 2024