“Lord, will only a few people be saved?” He answered them, “Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I tell you, will attempt to enter but will not be strong enough (Lk 13:23-24).
This can be a challenging verse to understand and to put into practice. Our salvation is assured in Christ, for he died for all of us and not just for a select few. It is also true that there is no way we can buy or nothing we can do to earn our way into heaven. That said, with the free gift of the grace we have been given by Jesus in the giving of his life for us, we have a responsibility to work out our salvation in this life, “with fear and trembling” (see Philippians 2:12).
Christianity is not a pie in the sky or walk in the park religion, we do not seek a utopia, because Christianity is about a relationship. God loves us and gives us the choice to reject or accept his love. If we say yes, then we collaborate in building a relationship with him and one another. Our fear and trembling is not in a cowering observance, but through humble obedience. We recognize that God is God and we are not. When our relationship with God is properly understood, when he is first, then our relationships with each other as well as what we do and what we seek will stand a better chance of being properly ordered.
Authentic relationships take an investment of time and hard work if those relationships are to move beyond the masks and pretenses we project, pretending to be something we are not or trying to be who others want us to be. This is the same for God. We can pray falsely and for false purposes, and in so doing, grow no closer in our relationship with God. Jesus loves us as his Father loves him, and he invites us to experience the same. This is more than an emotional experience, but a willing of each other’s good. Love is accepting the other as other, in their brokenness and pain, their failings and shortcomings, their sin. It means being willing to take off our masks, being vulnerable, revealing our fears, and resist being defensive or reactive when we are hurt or offended by those who are close to us.
Our prayer becomes real, not when we say the right prayers or words, but when we are honest with God. Our relationship with him grows when we let go of our false understanding that we are self-reliant and we admit that we need the help of the Holy Spirit. When we trust in God, are humble and honest with him, allow ourselves to see our weakness and sin, we can begin to be loved and begin to heal, we can be forgiven and transformed.
When we approach our human relationships, love does not mean that we endure physical and emotional manipulation and abuse, for then we are enabling someone’s destructive behavior. The goal of healthy relationships is to mutually respect each other’s boundaries, be willing to support and empower one another and grow together. We accept each other as we are, while at the same time, we are willing to accompany one another as we seek to hold each other accountable, grow in our relationship with God and who God calls us to be.
Every relationship, if it is to grow and develop, will at some point, come to a cross-road, a narrow gate, in which each person needs to make a decision. We can remain stubborn, hold our ground, and build up a wall, or we can instead work through the conflict, be honest, risk sharing what we truly believe, allow another to see our best and our worst, admit when we have been wrong or made a mistake, and then mutually support one another, as well as get the help from counseling or spiritual direction as needed.
Healing and growing together happens when we are willing to enter into and seek the root of the conflicts, to each own the parts we have played, and have the humility to say, I am sorry or I forgive you. We heal when we are willing to uncover the underlying issues below the surface, that is most likely veiled by our insecurities, anxieties, and fears. What can help us to feel safe and move toward healing and transformation is the willingness to invite God into our relationship through personal and mutual prayer.
Prayer is the most important thing we can do each day. The light of the Holy Spirit will help us to identify and let go of the baggage we carry and identify the voices we are listening to. Is it the father of lies or the Father who loves us more than we can imagine? Spending time with God and allowing the fire of his love to burn freely anything that is not of him, will help us to discern between the enemy’s voice and God’s. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life who seeks to lead us each step of the way to more intimate relationships. We get to decide whether we want to go our own way or follow Jesus through the narrow gate.
Photo: Praying together helped us to grow through conflicts, and closer to God and each other. Picture taken after we finished evening prayer with only 18 days before JoAnn would transition from this life to the next.
Spiritual Stepping Stones 