Joseph heard the news that Mary, his betrothed, was with child. In ancient Judaism, a betrothal was the first stage of marriage in which the couple exchanged their consent before at least two witnesses. They were considered to be legally married and yet the woman would still live in her home for up to a year. The second stage happened when the bride moved into the groom’s home and they consummated the marriage.
In Matthew sharing the information that Joseph and Mary were betrothed, indicated that the child was not biologically Joseph’s. Matthew does disclose the thoughts or emotions of Joseph about what he felt when he found out this news. Whatever inner turmoil he had, he chose not to bring Mary’s case to a public hearing, he did not want expose Mary to any shame. He was not going to make a public spectacle of Mary, but instead decided to “divorce her quietly.” Before he made his final decision though, Joseph made an excellent choice regarding the discernment of serious matters. He slept on the idea before acting.
During Joseph’s sleep, the angel of the Lord delivered a message. “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins” (Mt 1:20-21). When Joseph awoke, he was obedient to the angel of the Lord. Joseph was willing to change his mind and took his wife into his home (Mt 1:24).
We may hear this so many times, we may miss the power of Joseph’s choice. He could have felt anger that the child was not his own and that Mary was unfaithful, which is what most of us go to when we read this account. There is another interpretation of the “reverential fear view,” which “was held by Sts. Thomas Aquinas, Bernard, Basil, and Ephraim. In this view, Mary told Joseph about her conceiving by the Holy Spirit and he responds with religious awe over the mystery of what God is working in Mary” (Curtis and Sri, 44). Joseph, like many of the prophets when encountering the work of God concretely do not feel worthy to follow through on what is being asked of him.
We don’t know what was going through Joseph’s mind before the angel, but we do know that he as did Mary once he was clear of God’s will trusted in God’s will, and “that has made all the difference” to quote Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken.” Because of Mary and Joseph’s, “yes”, to God and to family, the Son of God became man and opened up heaven for us in the humanity he assumed.
God often works in the same way when dealing with us. What may appear to be absurd, unimaginable, or downright impossible, is indeed possible when we align our will with God’s will. This is the week of Joy in Advent.
The source of joy does not come from external experiences but from an encounter with and acceptance of God’s invitation. Joy is an experience of communion with the love of God. This has been given to us in greater measure because Jesus became one with us, and so upon his ascension into heaven, we too can experience the loving communion he experiences with his Father. We can also experience the love of the Holy Spirit in our encounter with family and friends, this exchange of giving and receiving of ourselves in conversation, shared experiences, and in resolving challenges and conflicts together.
Mary and Joseph both received incredible news, that neither of them fully comprehended. They could have easily responded in a different way. They could have given into very real fears. Instead, they trusted in and obeyed God, they chose family, and because they did, we can rejoice not just during this week but we can rejoice always! The same God who sought out Mary and Joseph has a plan for us as well.
Mary and Joseph followed God’s lead and were willing to allow their unborn child, Jesus, to come to full term. Because they were willing to risk public ridicule and worse, Jesus entered into our human condition. There may be a difficult situation we are dealing with, we may feel like we are on our own, and that there is no way out, and/or no help on the horizon. God will make a way when there appears to be no way, and reveal it to us through his Son. We may not understand either, but like Mary and Joseph, let us trust in God, one another.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, please intercede on our behalf this Advent Season such that we will resist the temptation of taking each of our family members for granted, and instead give others the benefit of the doubt, appreciate and be thankful for one another. Help us to react less and breathe deeply more. Help us to be more understanding, patient, and willing to forgive, such that even though we have experienced past hurts, conflicts, disagreements, and different points of view, we may ultimately experience time and again the joy of being there for one another, through thick and thin.
Photo: Blessed to spend time with the Holy Family each evening for my holy hour.
Spiritual Stepping Stones 