grief

May the saints help us to arise from our slumber.

“Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Mt 5:4).

Mourning here can certainly mean the grief one experiences at the death of a loved one. It can also mean mourning for the evil and unfaithfulness in the world. Another word for blessed is happy. How are we to feel blessed, or happy in reference to the death of those close to our hearts? Blessed or happy for the injustice, violence, warfare that plagues our word? From a theological sense, one interpretation can be that Jesus spoke from the perspective of the eschatological event, his second coming at the end of time and that we can rely on the hope that Jesus died for us all and we will rise with him on the last day. We will be not only freed from the atrocities of this life, but also freed from death.

This is our hope and this is true, but also Jesus may also have been speaking about our day to day experiences as well. Jesus said, as is recorded in Mark 1:15, “This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand.” Jesus, is the kingdom at hand, just an outstretched arm away. Those of us who mourn and suffering will be blessed, will find comfort when we resist running away, or denying the agony and pain that threatens to overwhelm us and instead allow ourselves to experience the grief and the suffering of our loss and our fallen world. It is in the very embracing of our pain and suffering that we encounter Jesus waiting for us there with his arms wide open.

When we turn to Jesus, and with him face the sorrow, grieve and mourn for those who have died, as well as for the injustice, violence, and sin of our world, he will help us to release the unbearable weight we have been carrying. Jesus, who suffered the agony, loss, pain, and hurt in his passion and death on the cross, understands what we are feeling. His presence and closeness will be the strength we need to guide us through the many ups and downs, fits and starts, of our emotional roller coaster and also be able to offer help.

Today, we celebrate the gift of the Communion of Saints on this All Saints Day. The saints understood and lived the message and truth of the Gospel that Jesus has risen. They dedicated their lives to the call that Jesus extended to them and have gone before us to the true land of promise, our heavenly home, and from there they cheer us on, encourage, and intercede for us. They remind us that we will be blessed when we resist being attached to the things of this world and instead follow the will of God.

Jesus suffered and persevered the agonizing pain of the cross, then experienced, and conquered death. He lights the way and leads us back to the Father. We need not fear the fallen world nor death because through our life in Jesus, neither has any power over us. St Paul of the Cross, taught: “The world lives unmindful of the sufferings of Jesus which are the miracle of miracles of the love of God. We must arouse the world from its slumber.” When we turn to God with everything, we will experience God’s comfort, peace, and healing to rise from our slumber, and reflect the light of Christ to help others to rise from their slumbers.

Photo: Tapestry of saints hanging in the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angeles, Los Angeles, CA.

The source for the quote is from St Paul of the Cross

Link for the Mass readings for Saturday, November 1, 2025

Knowing Jesus helps us to experience our grief and our grief will become joy!

Jesus continues his farewell discourse and appears to be speaking in riddles: “A little while and you will no longer see me, and again a little while later and you will see me” (Jn 16:16). We who know what is coming for Jesus understand what Jesus is talking about, but for the disciples, not so much. Jesus will be crucified and rise again from the dead. Jesus then goes on to explain further that: “Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn, while the world rejoices; you will grieve, but your grief will become joy” (Jn 16:20). Jesus is speaking about the same two points of reference, his Crucifixion and Resurrection.

Yet, his “explanation”, would not help to clarify for his disciples. This clarification would only come when the Comforter comes, when the Holy Spirit, sent by Jesus would come to reveal to them the truth of Jesus after they experienced his resurrection, time with them, and then ascension. First, they would all have to endure with Jesus his passion, suffering, and death on the cross.

The most brutal sign of oppression during the reign of the Roman Empire was the cross. It was a weapon of terror, torture, an extreme case of punitive justice or capital punishment, and in actuality state-sanctioned terrorism. The person would be stripped of all their clothing, would be nailed by the wrists, or palms, and wrists tied, nailed by the feet, and then lifted up for public display. Then would begin their humiliation, dehumanization, and long agonizing death; a sign for anyone to think twice about challenging the authority of Rome.

The disciples wept and mourned, their hopes dashed, they were stunned, ashamed, and demoralized, while others rejoiced as Jesus and the two others beside him were lifted up. The centurions flaunted their authority and prowess. Others gathered around and jeered at who they believed to be another false prophet dying on Golgotha, the hill of the skull, where so many had gone before. Where other hopes and dreams had been crushed under Roman dominance and oppression.

Jesus was sometimes described as being hung on a tree in some letters of the New Testament because writing the word, cross, was still too raw and vivid in people’s minds. This is also why there are no depictions of Jesus on the cross before the year 200 AD, and the earliest known believed to be the Alexamenos graffito was a mocking not complementary etching of Jesus on the cross. Yet, this was not the final chapter. The grief of the Apostles would turn to joy when Jesus conquered death and rose again. The cross, this symbol of torture, would become a sign of victory over death and the grave.

Yet, one centurion got it right: “Truly this man was the Son of God” (Mk 15:39)! For many Christians today, the Crucifix and Cross are no longer a sign of oppression and fear but are displayed as a sign of the triumph and victory that Jesus has won for us. They are not magic talismans, but they are sacramental signs, concrete objects that are tangible, that we can see, wear, and hold on to. Not because of some macabre fascination with death but for the purpose of reminding us that we have a God who understands our humanity because he lived life as we do. He suffered with us in our suffering and experienced pain as we do.

Jesus cried as we cry, he laughed as we laugh, and he enjoyed table fellowship with friends as well as those on the peripheries. Jesus faced rejection, misunderstanding, trials, and tribulations, he overcame conflict and rejection, he died as we will die, yet his death was not the end. Jesus conquered death, so that through our participation in his life and resurrection we have the opportunity to rise again in Christ as well.

We are still in the Easter Season, and are drawing closer to celebrating the Solemnity of the Ascension when Jesus returns to the Father. It may seem odd, but meditating upon a crucifix is a good practice not just In Lent but anytime, even in Easter, because we are reminded of what Jesus went through and what he overcame. When we are going through a particularly rough patch, we can hold the crucifix, feel the wood, allow our gaze to fall upon the face and wounded body of our Lord. When we allow him, Jesus will embrace us with his arms outstretched to ease our suffering and pain, and also help us to overcome as he did.

Jesus is and continues to be present with us, closer even than the crucifix we hold or look upon. Even if we do not feel Jesus present, he is! Even when we pray daily and feel nothing is happening, Jesus is close, closer to us than we are to ourselves. The apostles experienced the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, their time together after the resurrection and up to his ascension, and then his leaving them again. It was not until the Holy Spirit was sent to them though that they truly got it, and saw the truth of who Jesus is. Then looking back they were able to connect the dots. Their grief became joy, and so can our’s.

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Photo: We adore you, O Christ, and we praise you, because by your Holy Cross you have redeemed the world.

Link for the Mass readings for Thursday, May 29, 2025

The Holy Spirit will help us to heal from the grief that fills our hearts.

At some point in our lives, we experience the death of someone we love. If we live a long life, we will experience even more of the pain of losing those close to us. I remember my maternal grandfather sharing with me when he was around ninety that he had outlived most of his siblings and friends. Unfortunately, for too many in our world, death is a daily event through violence in all its forms. Grief during time of loss is a natural human response. It is certainly not an emotion to be suppressed.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus shared: “But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts” (Jn 16:6). Jesus was preparing his disciples for his suffering and death on the cross, but also letting them know that they would not be left alone. Even after his death, his resurrection and again time with his disciples, he would then at his ascension return to the Father. And better for his disciples that he would return to his Father. The Father will transform Jesus through his suffering, death, resurrection, and ascension. Jesus will assume his glorified body and the Holy Spirit will proceed from the Father and the Son to empower the apostles. They too will be transformed. No longer afraid, no more falling short of the glory of God but fulfilling and actualizing who Jesus called them to be from the beginning.

Of course, the Apostles were not able to understand what Jesus was talking about. Who can blame them? They had no point of reference for someone dying and rising again, let alone that he would ascend to the Father and send the Third Person of the Holy Trinity to be with them. The Apostles would not only feel the grief of the loss of Jesus they would also experience the fear that the same persecution that took him would take them. Jesus predicted no less. To be his follower, they would need to be willing to give their own lives as Jesus was about to do.

They did not get off to a great start. Even though Jesus foretold them of what was to happen, in Jesus’ final hour, they betrayed and abandoned him. And yet, except for Judas, because he had taken his own life, Jesus came to them again after his resurrection. He did not condemn but forgave them. Jesus would in a short time ascend back to the Father as we will celebrate next Sunday, and the disciples, with Mary, would experience the love and grace of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.

Empowered by the Holy Spirit, they faced what was before them head-on, even to experience their own violent deaths, except for John. The fear of death had no more power over them, their grief and their fear were turned into joy from their encounter with the Risen Jesus and the Love of the Holy Spirit they experienced first hand.

For us, as with the Apostles, grief is real, because death is a loss, it is a change in our present reality. Yet, we celebrate this Easter Season for fifty days for a reason. Death has lost its sting because Jesus has died, entered into the fullness of everything that death threw at him, and he conquered it. Jesus died for each and everyone of us so that we can also rise with him, and be with him, and our loved ones again for all eternity.

We can believe in our minds that death does not have the final answer, yet we will still feel the grief, the pain of loss. We need to be honest with our emotions, and not stifle them, thinking by showing grief that we are in some way less a person of faith. Jesus himself wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus. In allowing ourselves to enter into our pain, we will experience the Risen Christ who is waiting to embrace us and help us to heal. The key is to allow ourselves to experience and feel our grief, but just not to stay there.

To experience our grief and allow it to rise up when it comes is healthy and necessary but we do need to be careful that it does not define and overwhelm us. After seven months of caring and accompanying JoAnn to her death, visiting with family and friends through Thanksgiving and Christmas, I returned home, and had some time alone for the first time. I had a two day period where I was able to experience the weight of my grief and was hit pretty hard. I was beginning to sink into a dark place. Fortunately, I received a phone call from my friend, Theresa Frettered, and she invited me to a diocesan event. I didn’t want to go, but said yes. Terry was a messenger of the Holy Spirit. She invited me to leave the despair and come up for some air.

The time of grief is different for each person. “There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). We place our hope in Jesus, the first born of the new creation, and pray that those we remembered yesterday for Memorial Day, all those we hold close to our hearts in this moment, and those who have no one to pray for them, who have left this life, are now experiencing the gift of eternal life that Jesus won for us on the cross. Our time will come too.

This is not a morbid thought. Pondering our own death helps us to not take the time we have left for granted and choose to live our lives more intentionally, with greater purpose. In doing so, we can experience a foretaste of heaven, God’s tender care for us, even on this side of heaven. When our hearts and minds are open to slow down, to invite the Holy Spirit to come close so that we may experience his love for us. For a brief moment we will get a glimpse, that death really does not have the final answer. The loving embrace of Jesus does.

Photo credit: Losing someone we love is like experiencing an amputation. We will live, but it will never be the same. Allowing the Holy Spirit to accompany and heal us will help us to learn to fly again!

Link for the Mass readings for Tuesday, May 27, 2025