When Jesus said to his disciples: “If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first”, Jesus was not proposing an-us-verses them mentality. It can be easily taken that way and certainly has been lived out in many ways in our society and world. Yet, an-us-verses them mentality is usually a defensive posture assumed by those who often feel or are actuality being persecuted. It is an understandable posture. It is just not the stance that Jesus proposes us to take. We are to love our enemies, we are to love those who hate us. Impossible? Yes, on our own will power alone, for apart from Jesus we can do nothing, but with him all things are possible.
Jesus makes it plain to his apostles. They need to be prepared, for the same persecution that has been happening to him will happen to them. They will be persecuted, mocked, imprisoned, and give their lives just as Jesus did. The gospel message is a challenge. We are challenged to have a change of mind and heart, to be conformed to the love of Jesus the Christ. This means that our focus must shift from that of self-focused, self-first and foremost, as well as I – me – mine. Instead of curving in upon ourselves and constricting, we are to look up and out beyond ourselves and put God first. With God holding priority of place in our lives we will expand and heal.
We know that we are putting God first instead of our fallen nature when we react less and love more. Reactions are based on survival instincts, which can be exacerbated with an-us-verses them mentality. “They” are responsible for the state I am in, it is all “their” fault, “they” made me do it… These are all reactive thoughts that can lead to more divisive and uglier statements and actions. Jesus invites us to assume the disposition of mindful action not reaction.
To resist reacting, we need to be willing to slow down and pay attention to our interior voices. We can slow down when we experience an emotional reaction, by breathing into the emotion, feel it instead of reacting or denying it, and then see if we can hear the thought or thoughts that are feeding the emotion(s). Spending time to recollect, just to breathe and allow our minds to settle, helps us to get in touch with our emotions and thoughts. Then bringing them to Jesus, he can help us to identify them and instead of reaction being our default position, we can begin to choose if we want to react or not. Instead of reacting, we can choose how Jesus is inviting us to respond.
Much of our reactions comes from our harried pace, keeping us from being in touch with our deep-seated anxieties, suffering, and fears. Instead of running from the mirror Jesus holds up to us, may we stop and pray with him regularly. In this way, we can see our wounds, not just our sins and unhealthy choices, but the reasons why we are choosing to do what we don’t want to do instead of what we want to do. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to take some deep breaths, ask Jesus to be present with us in daily quiet moments and receive the light of his love. We can then see those hidden places that we have not wanted to face, those areas that rumble when a trigger is tripped, when our impatience starts to swirl, and/or our reaction begins to form.
Since we are not machines to be fixed, we only need to allow ourselves to be loved by Jesus in the places that we have been afraid to let anyone see for fear of being rejected or abandoned. As we daily begin to breathe, receive, rest, and abide in Jesus’ love, we will become more patient, understanding, truer to who he calls us to be: People of love, willing the other’s good, accepting and encountering each other as fellow brothers and sisters on our journey together. In seeking to understand someone instead of reacting, we can then choose to listen and love as our first response, and come to recognize that the common denominator for each of us is that we are all wounded, imperfect, experience loneliness, and that we just want to belong and be loved.
May we allow the love of the Holy Spirit to guide and flow through us, so as to dissolve walls of hate and division, and instead build bridges of dialogue and healing. Instead of a tit for tat approach to contempt, hate, and dehumanization, we can choose instead to pause, breath, and turn again and again to Jesus for the strength to resist the easy and impulsive reaction so as to not act in kind but instead respond with acts of understanding, empowerment, and love.
Please let us take good care of ourselves and each other today.
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Photo: Wanting to learn how to slow down? Stop and look up and breathe slow. Doing just that in Woodstock, GA this evening.
Spiritual Stepping Stones 