catholic

Standing in our sorrows with Jesus and Mary will help us to experience healing and joy.

When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home (Jn 19:26-27).

During the summer of 1991, I joined the Franciscans of Holy Name Province as a pre-novitiate and was stationed at Holy Cross Friary in the Bronx. My ministry for that year was working in the friary and the adjoining parish of Holy Cross. Shortly after entering, one of the friars, Br. Paul Goldie, died. He had been serving at the friary since 1953 and had been a friar for 54 years. A practice among the friars was to pass on personal items to those in the community when one of their own passed away. I was honored to have been given a picture of St. Francis, that hangs in my room in the rectory of Holy Cross and Br. Paul’s rosary.

I noticed that the rosary was different from others but didn’t ask any of the friars, most likely because I already felt self conscious about how little I knew about Catholicism. Instead of a crucifix it had a Miraculous Medal, instead of five beads there were three beads leading to the decades of beads, and instead of five decades of beads, there were seven groupings of seven beads. In between each of the series of seven beads there was a small medal. On one side was a picture of Mary pierced in the heart seven times, and on the back of each medal was a different scene.

I would find out some time later that this was a Rosary of Our Lady of Sorrows. The depictions on the back of the seven medals represented Mary’s seven sorrows: Simeon announces the suffering destiny of Jesus, Mary escapes into Egypt with Jesus and Joseph, Mary seeks Jesus lost in Jerusalem, Mary meets Jesus as He carries his Cross to Calvary, Mary stands near the Cross of her Son Jesus, Mary receives into her arms the body of Jesus taken down from the Cross, and Mary helps place the body of Jesus in the tomb.

The fifth mystery, Mary stands near the Cross of her Son Jesus, is from our Gospel reading today. For Mary to witness her son dying such an agonizing death, it must have been the most sorrowful of the seven. Yet, Mary did not run from the pain, she embraced his and her own pain, the piercing of the lance, pierced her own heart, into the depths of her own soul. Mary, though free of sin, was not free of the pain of a fallen world. In fact, Mary, like Jesus, felt it more deeply.

By being willing to love, we risk experiencing and entering into the pain of those we love. So many times we run from love, because we do not want to experience the pain relationships entail. We are finite and fragile beings, and so we will let each other down, we will make mistakes, say the wrong things, do hurtful things, we will get sick or deal with chronic illness and need care, we will lose patience, we will sin, and those we care about will die. Jesus though calls us, like Mary and John present at the Cross, to remain present to one another, to love, to will the good of the other, and so to experience the fruit of an authentic relationship which is grounded in the unimaginable love that God the Father has for us.

Love is the bond of communion that gives us the strength to move through the crossroads and upheavals of life. Love is the bond of commitment that draws us out from our selfishness so to learn from one another, to grow stronger together, and to be present to one another. Where there is an authentic relationship, there is love at its foundation. When we love one another, we participate in the communion of the Holy Trinity, we participate in the very same divine communion of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Is there risk of rejection in loving another? Yes. Is there pain in love? Yes. Is there conflict in relationship? Yes. Yet to be fulfilled, to be fully alive, for love to be real, we must be willing to take the risk to love and be rejected, just as God does with us. As we enter relationships or strive for better authenticity in our present relationships, we must be willing to love, to commit, be present, to sacrifice and share our pain and experience another’s pain. We must be willing to stand by each other in our imperfections as well as be humble and willing to offer and seek forgiveness and reconciliation.

We cannot come close to imagining what Mary and John experienced with Jesus at the climax of his crucifixion. Each of them embraced horrific pain and sorrow at the foot of the cross, yet they remained, and so they were able to mourn, heal, and experience the full joy of the Resurrection. At the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, they also experienced the divine communion of love between the Father and the Son and shared that same love and commitment with the community of Jesus’ followers and those who had never met him.

Br. Paul’s Rosary of the Seven Sorrows, is a reminder for me of the brotherhood I shared with the friars for the year and a half that I was with them. It is also a reminder that there will be pain and struggles in this life but that I am not alone. Mourning JoAnn’s death from 2019 and recovering from Covid and double pneumonia in 2021 are realities that I am continuing to heal and learn from. Not running away from but standing alongside Mary and John have helped me to face these and other challenges and experience Jesus waiting with his arms wide open to embrace and walk with me time and again.

We can trust Jesus and Mary, as well as John and the apostles, and turn to them when we are faced with challenges and suffering. Praying with the mysteries of the Rosary or the Seven Sorrows can be of great help. When we resist merely reciting but instead slowly pray and ponder the mysteries, we can experience with Jesus and Mary how they were able to face their suffering. They in turn will gently guide us to experience and face our own pain and challenges, and provide comfort and healing.

Photo: Br. Paul’s Seven Sorrows Rosary on the right, Franciscan Crown (Seven Joys of the Blessed Virgin) Rosary on the left, and standard five decade Rosary in the center. We can walk with Jesus and Mary in any and every season!

Link for the Mass readings for Monday, September 15, 2025

Like Anna, may we do our part to allow God to work through us with great love.

We have no evidence of what the encounter with the baby Jesus meant for Anna, Simeon, the Magi, or the shepherds. What most likely happened was that they all did as Anna did, she “spoke about the child to all who were awaiting the redemption of Jerusalem” (Luke 2:38). Since they followed God’s invitation to come and see the baby in their own unique ways, even though their part in God’s theodrama was no longer recorded in the Bible, their lives were most likely not ever the same as they continued to share the good news they experienced.

The account continued for Joseph, Mary, and Jesus who, “returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him” (Lk 2:39-40). No ticker-tape parade, no giving the key to the city, and no gala ball awaited the Holy Family when they returned to Nazareth. They went on to live very simple lives preparing for the appointed hour.

The Advent and Christmas accounts of these past few weeks have revealed a wonderful tapestry of men and women accepting God’s invitation. In their own small and unique ways they have collaborated with God who works through the everyday events of people’s lives, more often than not unseen. We would do well to ponder and follow their examples. St. Mother Teresa learned from her namesake, the Little Flower, St Therese of Lisieux, to just that, to not get caught up seeking to do great things, but to do little things with great love.

As the Christmas Season continues, let us do the same as life has already or has begun to shift; families and friends have come and gone or are readying to go, vacation days are coming to an end. Let us resist the temptation to get lost again in the busyness of life. Let us appreciate the gift we have been given, to meditate and think a bit more about the accounts of Jesus and the supporting cast around him. What do these stories mean for each of us? Life can be hard and can change in an instant because it is fragile. Let us not take our family and friends for granted. May we take a deep breath and renew our commitment to God and each other. 

As the Holy Family begins their journey to Nazareth and their simple life, as we begin to return to our regular daily routines, may we be a little more aware and open to the quiet and gentle ways of how God is working in our lives. May we commit to supporting and caring for one another, be a little more aware and reach out to those in need, express our need for help and allow others to assist us. As we do so, we will start to recognize the simplicity of divinity operating within the midst of our human interactions. The Holy Spirit is inviting us to be transformed in this new year, to watch, pray, and cooperate, so that he may kindle in us the fire of his love so that it may spread to others and renew the face of the earth.

Photo: May we, like Anna, speak about how Jesus has changed our lives.

Link for the Mass readings for Monday, December 30, 2024

Spending time with Mary and sharing in her memory will help us in healing ourselves and our relationships.

Our gospel today is relatable to anyone hearing or reading it because each of us have experienced family life in all of the different ways family life can be expressed today. At one point or another we have experienced conflict, misunderstanding, and anxiety.

The Bible is good about not covering over the complexities and challenges of life. If the Holy Family can have difficulty, then that can give us comfort if we have gone, or are going through some challenges right now. 

One point that jumps out from the start is that Joseph and Mary are not helicopter parents. After celebrating the Passover, they have left the temple and Jerusalem and are heading back home to Nazareth. Because such a journey was not a safe one, they were traveling in a caravan of extended family, friends, and neighbors. After a day into their trek, they realized that they had not seen Jesus and began a more intense search.

Jesus was nowhere to be found and so they returned to Jerusalem. With each step their concern rose. The ancient near East was not a safe place to travel in nor was it safe to dwell. Children were often kidnapped and sold into slavery. When we don’t understand or are faced with the unknown, we typically conjure up the worst case scenarios and Joseph and Mary were no different. By the time that they found him after their three days of searching, they were filled  “with great anxiety.” 

Jesus, in typical pre-teen fashion did not seem to appreciate their need for anxiety. He was safe all along among the teachers in the temple. Where else would he be? Neither Joseph nor Mary understood what Jesus was talking about. What happened next is a good response to a lack of understanding. 

There was no argument. Jesus was found safe and sound. It was time to go. Jesus was obedient and followed. Joseph was quiet. Mary pondered and “kept all these things in her heart.” We are not given to know the conversation between them on their way back home, but what Luke does share was that, “Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.”

Jesus did so because he was obedient to “God and man.” And that made a big difference.

Joseph and Mary reacted in the natural way that parents missing their child would react, with concern and anxiety. What they did not allow to happen was to allow their emotions override their reason. Jesus didn’t see anything wrong with what he did because he was following the direction of his Father. He didn’t seem to pick up on the point that he failed to share that little detail with Mary and instead assumed they would know where he was.

This is a powerful affirmation regarding Joseph and Mary’s faith. They were not only faithful to the annual Passover pilgrimage, but they showed their faithfulness to following God’s lead from the beginning of Jesus’ conception. They more than likely passed on their stalwart faith onto Jesus such that he believed that they would know where he was. Yet when he realized this was not true, he obediently followed his parents back to Nazareth.

The three days searching for Jesus would also be a preparation for turning to God and trusting him during another three days in which Jesus remained on a stone slab lying in a tomb. Mary trusted again during her time of anguish of not knowing. Not knowing if or how Jesus would come back from the dead after his brutal death on the cross. 

What spending any time in the school of the Holy Family will teach us, is that we are to place our trust in God first. We are to ponder more and react less. This does not mean we will understand God’s will each time, it does not mean that we will be free of suffering or anxiety, nor will we be free of conflict with those we love. Yet, when we resist placing ourselves front and center and instead remain faithful to and seek God’s will in every situation, when we resist reacting and seek to understand, when we are willing to forgive, there will be a better chance of healing and reconciliation sooner. 

In times of conflict and misunderstanding, when our intent is to will each other’s good, even when we see things differently and disagree, we will be better off turning to God and trusting in him. We will do better when we are willing to breathe and listen to the one speaking as well as the Holy Spirit that will give us the words to speak or the pause to be silent. Pondering and seeking to understand the will of God as Mary did is a course of action that will bring about better benefits. 

One powerful tool of prayer that helps us to be more patient, understanding, and forgiving one another is to spend time quietly meditating and contemplating the mysteries of the Rosary, like this fifth joyful mystery of Mary and Joseph finding Jesus in the temple. For each of us, Mary “continues to relate her personal account of the Gospel. Mary constantly sets before the faithful the ‘mysteries’ of her Son, with the desire that the contemplation of those mysteries will release all their saving power. In the recitation of the Rosary, the Christian community enters into contact with the memories and the contemplative gaze of Mary” (St. John Paul II, The Rosary of the Virgin Mary).

Photo: Our Lady of Grace on the grounds of Joseph and Mary Retreat House, Mundelein, Il, where I was blessed to spend a 30 day silent retreat. Learned much from Mary’s memory!!!

Link for the Mass readings for Sunday, December 29, 2024

May we play our part as did St. Joseph.

When the magi had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you” (Mt 2:13).

The scene the magi left from was not a glamorous one. Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable or a cave. This setting was not the most hygienic of situations as this is where animals were kept. After the shepherds and kings come to pay the baby homage the situation does not get much better. For as we read in today’s Gospel from Matthew, Joseph is urged by an angel to flee because Herod had ordered the death of all male children under two years of age.

Sounds a bit extreme of a measure, and one might think this could just be a trumped up story. Until looking back to see how Herod killed anyone he felt threatened without thinking twice. This included his own wife, Mariamne, and three of his sons. The news Herod received by the magi that they wanted to see “he who was born the king of the Jews” (Matthew 2:2) and the messianic fervor that was growing because the prophecy of Daniel (cf. Dn 9:24-27) predicted the messiah during this time period, could have easily fed Herod’s paranoia. When the magi did not return to reveal the location of this baby king, he wasn’t going to take any chances for this wee one to grow up.

Joseph would have known about Herod’s temperament as he was the rightful heir to the thrown of David as well as the caretaker of Jesus, the baby who, it was becoming clearer to Joseph, was the Messiah. With the words of the angel, Gabriel, Joseph trusted again and packed up all they had. The three of them were on the road again, not back home to Nazareth, but to Egypt.

The Son of God could have easily been born in a palace, among a family with power and stability, yet his Father chose to send him to be born among the poor and displaced. His earliest days were ones marked by instability and danger. The only stability and safety that Jesus had was in Mary and Joseph. They trusted in God, followed his guidance, and were willing to sacrifice their lives to protect and keep him safe.

Over these past days of readings we have encountered simple and yet significant figures of faith: Zechariah, Elizabeth, Mary, Stephen, Mary Magdalene, Peter, John, and today, Joseph. In the face of not understanding the reality of the conception of Jesus, he chose to trust Gabriel’s invitation to take Mary as his wife, to provide and protect her and Jesus. He risked his life by going into the territory of the crazed king Herod and then onward to Egypt until presumably Gabriel would call them back to Nazareth.

Joseph did what each of us are called to do, to follow the will of God – to be saints. We are called to listen to, trust in, and do whatever he tells us. In this way, we play our part, as Joseph and the others did. We are to allow the love of God to flow through us to those in our realm of influence, make a difference in our corner of the world, and make it a place where the dignity of each person in our reach is respected and cared for. When we do that, miracles happen!

Photo: St. Joseph Catholic Church, Poquonock, CT. Christmas Day, last year.

Link for the Mass readings for Saturday, December 28, 2024

When we trust in the will of God and persevere, we will be saved.

“You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved” (Mt 10:22).

Why are we talking about being hated the day after Christmas? One reason could be that Jesus, this baby whose birth we just celebrated is “the light that shines in the darkness” (Jn 1:5). The very reality of Jesus is that he is the light that exposes darkness, he is the very embodiment of Love that exposes evil and hatred.

St. Stephen, whose feast we celebrate today, and whose death we read about in the first reading from Acts, experiences his words personally. For he is killed for the sole purpose of speaking the Gospel. While during his persecution he sees and communicates how even the heavens open for him. The reaction to those who hear his words are infuriation and they then throw him out of the city and “stone him” (cf. Acts 7:54-59).

Stephen radiated the light, love, and wisdom of Jesus and like Jesus he was put to death. His persecutors felt threatened by the light instead of welcomed to let go of the darkness that held them bound. Jesus exposes the truth of those dark places within our own hearts, minds, and the very depth of our being as well. What is our response? Will we also reject the light, not aware that it is an invitation to healing and to wholeness?

We may wince at the luminous brightness of Jesus’ light and resist the intimacy of the love he seeks to share. We may unconsciously do so, because we have so often faced so much of the opposite; hurt, pain, betrayal, and lack of understanding or acceptance, that we assume a defensive crouch is best to protect our false sense of self, when in fact that is just what we are invited to let go of. As time passes and we keep to the shadows, we risk becoming ingrained in our fear and pride and our posture of protecting our ego.

Yet, to be fully alive, we need to embrace the light, not hide from it. When we are open to the healing touch of Jesus and receive the gift of his light in our lives, we begin to die to our false self and the lies that we have believed. Allowing ourselves to breathe and rest in God’s loving presence helps us to heal, indentify, and allow Jesus to transform our vice to virtue. Once we allow ourselves to be loved by Jesus, we begin to recognize that we are turned in upon ourselves, and then we can adjust our posture and begin to open ourselves to him. We also begin to recognize that we are not the center of the universe.

As we follow the model of John the Baptist, St. Stephen, the other saints, we become less so that Jesus becomes more in our lives. We too will face the same rejection that Jesus faced. We will be labeled crazy, out of step, simple-minded, irrational, and worse. Yet we are to resist returning to a defensive posture, to refuse to react in kind, but instead, to be present, call upon and trust in the Holy Spirit to give us the words to speak, and allow God to happen. We are to remain open, accepting of the person where they are and as they are, and share the same transformative mercy, love, and forgiveness of Jesus that we have received from our attacker.

Change, maturation, and growth are not easy. As disciples, we are to be disciplined and persevere, while at the same time remember that our redemption does not come from our own doing or willing it to be so on our efforts alone. Our healing, restoration, and transformation come first and foremost from a willingness to accept the invitation to experience a deepening of our relationship with Jesus. When we accept his invitation to walk with him, and trust him, we will receive the healing salve of his love, mercy, and forgiveness. We will then heal from and let go of our biases, prejudices, hatred, and selfishness.

Transformation is not a one-time event. Christmas is not just a day, it is not just a season. Christmas is a time when we can recommit to allowing Jesus to enter into and to transform our lives each and every day, each and every moment, with each and every decision. When we are tempted in any way, let us call on the name of Jesus, trust in him, take a few deep breaths, and we will better be able to resist that which seeks to divert us.

In becoming human, Jesus lived showing us that this life was not all there is. The fullness of our lives are to be lived in and for God his Father. When we, like, Jesus, Stephen, and the saints, trust and obey God’s will, no matter where that will lead, we will be transformed, whole, and more alive than we can ever imagine, in this life and the next.

————————————————————————–

Photo: St Stephen the Protomartyr – icon by Theophili Saint Stephen, pray for us!

Link for today’s Mass readings for Thursday, December 26, 2024

Quiet time with God in his creation helps us to be still, to grow closer to God and each other.

“All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and who the Father is except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him” (Lk 10:22).

God the Father knows God the Son and God the Son knows God the Father. They do not just know about each other, they know each other with such a deep, infinite intimacy that is far beyond our human comprehension. Contemplating this reality can fill us with hope especially when we come to realize that Jesus is the Son of God who has come into our lives so that we can participate in the trinitarian communion of the Father and the Son and the love shared between them, the Holy Spirit!

Jesus has come as an agent of reconciliation, to restore our relationship with God, to undo the effects of the sin of separation that has so ruptured and wounded our relationship with him, each other, and his creation. Our hope this Advent is that we can come not just to a better understanding of God, but to more intimately know and restore our relationship with God through our participation in the life of his Son.

May the Advent season not get away from us before it even starts because of the material, commercial, and busyness that threatens. A good practice to help us to slow our pace is to spend some time in the gift of God’s creation, to enter into its natural rhythm, and bask in the wonder and vast expanse of it all.

One of the activities that I enjoyed most with JoAnn, was our evening walks. I have continued this practice most evenings since her death as well. During my time at seminary, my spiritual director invited me to pray the Rosary during these walks, which I did and have enjoyed very much. Each night walking around the lake at the seminary and looking up and around, praying, walking, and breathing was a wonderful and peaceful experience.

As I drew closer to ordination, one of my concerns regarding possible placement was whether or not I would be assigned to an area in which I could continue my evening Rosary walks and have access to the wonderful vistas that the seminary afforded. I have been blessed by our bishop that he assigned me to Holy Cross. Not only have I been blessed with even more wonderful natural views, I have been blessed with an incredible family and community here. With each step and interaction, I continue to be blessed and drawn deeper into intimacy with God and feel more of his peace and joy.

All of creation echoes the wonder and adoration of the gift that the season of Advent offers: Jesus invites us to participate in a deeper walk with his Father, the creator of heaven and earth, the one who knit us together in our mother’s womb, and who knows us better than we know ourselves! With each breath and step we take, each prayer that we pray, each willingness to engage lovingly with another, will lead us into deeper intimacy with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and each other.

———————————————————————————–

Photo: Although darker on these December Rosary walks, still many interesting views. “A light has shined in the darkness and has not overcome it” (John 1:5).

Link for the Mass readings for Tuesday, December 3, 2019