“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted” (Lk 14:11).
With these words, Jesus ends his parable about people jockeying for seats of honor, when in fact it is the prerogative of the host to determine the seating. Jesus also addressed this same issue with the Apostles when James and John requested to sit, one on his right and the other on his left when he would come in his glory (cf. Mark 10:35-45). True humility is submitting ourselves to the will of God and acting as he directs, such that he is given the primacy of place, not us.
A memory of mine from third grade sticks with me and that is the feeling one day of someone watching me in the classroom. The feeling was not my classmates or the teacher. I don’t believe that I was paranoid. What I think the experience was about was me starting to be aware of me from the outside of myself, kind of looking in at myself as I perceived others as seeing me.
Maybe this was the awakening of my ego. I am no psychiatrist, this is all speculation on my part, but the memory is still easy to recall. At some point, we become aware that people are looking at us. With maturity, we may come to realize that people are not looking at us as much as we think. That is until we serve in the public eye as Jesus did. Many people were looking at him and judging him in a full range that we have witnessed as we have been journeying through the Gospel of Luke.
The challenge is to resist acting in any way other than how God is calling us to be and act in any given expression. We ought not to seek to impress others, but instead, seek to express ourselves in ways that we are lead by the Holy Spirit. Too often throughout my life I have made decisions seeking others’ approval and just as often, I have chosen my actions regarding perceived opinions, not actual decisions requested of me directly. These perceived opinions were much more subtle in nature, but also could multiply and be debilitating at times when I sought to make a decision.
I am realizing that it is more important to align myself with God’s will for my life. In coming to a better understanding of God’s will, I am more authentic in my interactions with others instead of operating from a posture of appeasement, which is more disingenuous. In so doing, I am better able to be present to others for their needs and not my own. Also, when we are open to the nudge of the Holy Spirit, we experience God’s grace time and again.
What may have been going on with those at dinner seeking the closer seats to the host, what impelled James and John to want to sit at Jesus’ right and left when he came into his glory, was that they were seeking honor, prestige, glory, acceptance to feed their egos. They were listening to the nudge of the enemy. Jesus is teaching us to instead listen to our Father’s voice. We will find the fulfillment and joy that we seek in not man’s approval even when we receive it, but in God’s affirmation. This is the transformation we saw happen in Peter. He protected himself at the cost of denying Jesus three times but forgiven by the mercy of Jesus he gave himself in love to serve him and his Church unto his death.
We will experience freedom from indecision, mental distractions, and temptations, and receive a clearer mind, heart, and spirit when we surrender to God’s guidance. We will feel more confidence and courage knowing his love and acting upon his guidance. As Mother Teresa sought, we to can become a simple pencil in God’s hand. Instead of seeking honor, recognition, and praise, let our intention rather be to follow God’s leading and to serve others unconditionally, willing their good. In dying to our ego-self, may we go forward today living for Jesus. We will then be able to say with joy with Paul, “For to me life is Christ, and death is gain” (Philippians 1:21).
Photo: Following the nudge of the Holy Spirit, I slowed my pace and instead of entering my room, I heard my name. I turned, Fr. Kevin McQuone, asked, “Do you want to see the rainbow?” I did.
