forgiveness

Forgiveness is possible. We just need to be willing to ask Jesus to help us.

Forgiveness is a wonderful gift of grace and mercy. If we asked many people if they would like to receive forgiveness most would say yes. The number would most likely be less if we were to ask them how many would be willing to forgive others. If we were asked to forgive someone seven times, that number would shrink significantly, and if we were invited to forgive someone seventy-seven times, is there any among us who would say yes, any among us willing to consider doing so?

Why is forgiveness so hard for most of us? I do say most because there are those who have an openness to being forgiving. One reason could be that we have few role models. I would imagine those that are more forgiving have not only experienced positive role models but have received forgiveness themselves.

How often do we seek forgiveness from others when we have done something wrong, inappropriate, or made a mistake? We often seek to explain first, make excuses, justify, or ignore our behavior altogether. When we resist being humble, confronting our offenses, and do not seek reconciliation, we do not experience the healing balm of forgiveness. We are then less likely to be willing to offer forgiveness and more likely to hold a grudge or to seek revenge.

Yet, even if we receive the gifts of mercy and forgiveness, as the servant did in today’s parable (Mt 18:21-35), we may still choose to be unforgiving toward others. We may resist forgiveness because we have already created patterns of distancing ourselves, making someone else as other, somehow justifying the hurt and pain we feel. We think that by holding a grudge or offering another the cold shoulder, we are giving them just what they deserve.

Unfortunately, patterns of not seeking forgiveness, not willing to forgive others, allowing ourselves to bear grudges, to distance ourselves, or project negative feelings on others to cover up our own inadequacies, not only perpetuate a climate of isolation and divisiveness, but continues to multiply mistrust and further distance. When allowed to left unchecked leads to violence in too many forms.

Even in a case when someone has truly wronged us in some way, Jesus is guiding us to forgive, to make an attempt to understand why someone might act in such a way, and to shift the momentum away from the perpetual cycle of hurt and to seek to bring about healing and reconciliation.

Jesus is clear that if we are not willing to forgive, we will not be forgiven. This is true because when we are unwilling to forgive, we cut ourselves off from the love of God. We choose the hurt and pain inflicted upon us over the healing balm that God offers. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a gift of healing, and a pattern of regular confession helps us to receive the healing and forgiveness of our loving God and Father. As we develop a regular practice of examining our conscience, experiencing contrition – true sorrow for our sins, confess, and are willing to complete our acts of penance, we are absolved and forgiven from our sins, and we will experience healing.

Forgiveness does not mean we condone another’s inappropriate actions. It means we choose to no longer participate in the cycle of hurt. Even when we feel forgiveness is impossible, are we willing? That is all Jesus requires. We forgive in the beginning when we are willing to ask Jesus to forgive through us until we can learn to forgive ourselves, like Doha Sabah Abdallah.

Doha lost her son during the bombing of her city in 2014. Doha shared her story with Pope Francis while he visited Iraq back in 2021. She said: “By imitating him [Jesus] in our sufferings, we testify that love is stronger than everything,”

Pope Francis shared how touched he was by Doha’s story of forgiveness. On his plane trip back home, Pope Francis said, “I forgive. This is a word we have lost. We know how to insult big time. We know how to condemn in a big way… But to forgive, to forgive one’s enemies. This is the pure Gospel. This hit me in Qaraqosh.”

Let us take up the mantle that Jesus holds out to us today and this Lent, seek forgiveness, be healed, and willing to forgive.

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Photo: Statue of St. Vincent de Paul our patron saint. St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL

Link for the Mass readings for Tuesday, March 5, 2024

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

My wife, JoAnn, asked me on a couple of occasions what were the favorite clothes of mine that she wore that I would like her to pack for our trip. I said the ones that you feel most comfortable in. She also shared with me what clothes she liked on me, including a pair of black, skinny jeans.

The reason we were having this conversation was because we were moving to Los Angeles. JoAnn had been diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer and we were moving to LA, for her final months this side of heaven.

With all packed, JoAnn flew ahead to Los Angeles with Jack. I would follow two weeks later after I finished out the school year. When I arrived and we were unpacking, JoAnn said, “You didn’t pack your black, skinny jeans.” The look on her face pierced my heart. We didn’t talk about it again.

About four months later and a few days after JoAnn died. The image of the look on her face came back to me again, and with some time to think, I realized that JoAnn was focusing on the clothes because these would be our last weeks together and why not dress in clothes that we both liked on each other. I was devastated that I missed it. The feeling also brought up times throughout our marriage where I did not make the time to listen to JoAnn, where I was impatient, and even treated her with contempt.

In that moment I experienced a deep sense of contrition at how I must have hurt JoAnn in those times. I cried as I walked to the cathedral in downtown LA which was about a half mile away. I got myself together and then fell apart again as I confessed to the priest. When I finished, he said that JoAnn forgave me, and that God forgave me.

Mercy, in Hebrew – Chesed – tender compassion.

God’s mercy, his tender compassion, is what I felt in that moment.

This is what Jesus is calling us to receive and be in our Gospel today. We are to be merciful, just as our Father is merciful with us.

Lent is a time to experience the mercy, forgiveness, and love of God. We do so when we are willing to be humble enough to allow Jesus to show us our sin, where we have fallen short of loving him, ourselves, and one another as he has created us to be. When we see our sin, Jesus does not condemn, berate, or demean us. If we experience any of that, know it is the devil seeking to isolate and separate us from the mercy, forgiveness, and love God wants to embrace us with.

All God asks of us is to be ourselves, to be who he has created us to be and that is his beloved daughter or son. All the other things we think we need to be, we can let go of. We can let go of all the anxiety, stress, and confusion about who we think we ought to be and just breathe deeply, receive, rest, and abide in the love our Father wants to share with us. When we live from this experience of God’s love, we will be in a better place. And when we mess up, we just need to be contrite, confess, be forgiven, do penance, and begin again.

As I shared my experience above, I encourage you to think of a time when you have experienced God’s mercy, chesed – his tender compassion. Rest in that moment and return to it again and again today and this week. When we return to and experience these anchor moments of God’s mercy for us, we will remember who and whose we are, and we will better be able to share God’s mercy, forgiveness, and love with others.

Photo: Treasure each moment you have with those you hold close to your heart. Even in the best of circumstances, time goes too quickly and the unexpected can happen. Let those you love, know you love them, with your thoughts, words, faces, and actions.

Link for the Mass readings for Monday, February 26, 2024

In stillness, there can be the beginning of healing.

There is something greater here. Something greater than the wisdom of Solomon and something greater than the preaching of Jonah. Following the way of Jesus is a faith we are called to live daily. Following Jesus is not a part-time vocation. We all have a unique gift in the dignity we have been conceived and born with. We have a unique way to express and live out our dignity as well. Unfortunately, what happens with most of us is that we are tempted, misdirected, distracted, and diverted as to what God would have us do and as a result we are often unplugged from the very source of our existence.

As Jesus taught, often in his parables, the kingdom of Heaven on earth starts small, like a mustard seed, like yeast, and develops slowly when nurtured. Lent is a good time to slow down, step back, take a retreat even while in the midst of our everyday activities. We just need to insert some dedicated time to God each day so as to better be able to acknowledge his presence in our activities.

If you are feeling a bit restless, on edge, or out of sync, I invite you to make some time to be still and breathe, this can be while in the shower, during breakfast, a morning walk, taking a sip of coffee or tea, during the car ride to and from work, or school. During this time ask God for some guidance. We can ask him to help us see those areas that we need to repent from and let go of, those thoughts, words, and actions that keep us distracted, redirected, and unsettled because we aren’t being truly who we are and who God is calling us to be. We can then confess to him and receive his forgiveness and reconciliation.

God invites us to come to the silence to also be able to sit in and experience the tensions, wounds, and traumas waiting for us there. Many of us would say a quick, “No, thank you,” to that invitation because who wants to experience those unresolved issues, hurts, and/or pain. We may even believe in the lie that if we open up those areas that we will be completely undone. Yet, it is only through experiencing the pain that we will experience the healing. Also, we will come to realize that the initial hurt is not as bad as the effects of it being left unresolved and the energy expended to keep it at bay is exhausting.

Jesus is present and waiting, to receive us and lead us through. He is inviting us to experience his acceptance and love as we are, to feel safe, to let go and be honest. With humility in seeking the help of and trusting in Jesus, we begin with simple steps that will lead us on the path to our freedom.

Jesus said in today’s Gospel that, “There is something greater here.” Christianity is not a secret sect. We are called to share the joy, the forgiveness, healing, and reconciliation we experience from God with others, even with, as Jonah found out, our enemies. We are to look for opportunities to offer a smile, an encouraging word, to reach out to someone we have been meaning to connect with for a while, in person or far away, and/or someone that we may sense just needs a listening ear. We can also react less by asking for God’s patience to be more understanding with those who may get under our skin or stretch us out of our comfort zones.

Lent can be a joyful time when we enter into the season with the intent to deepen our walk with the One who is wiser than Solomon and preached repentance and reconciliation. With our hearts and minds turned back and open to God, Lent will not so much be a drudgery to endure, but a joyful embrace of the opportunity for experiencing healing from those areas we have kept buried for far too long. Lent is a season that we are invited to change our minds such that we are more open to dialogue, forgiveness, healing, sharing the joy, reconciliation, and contributing to building up the kingdom of God one healing at a time!

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Photo: Some quiet time with Mary – St. Vincent De Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Wednesday, February, 21, 2024

May we bear the light and love of Jesus to dispel any darkness or evil in our midst.

“The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert, and he remained in the desert for forty days, tempted by Satan” (Mark 1:12-13).

Jesus experienced the temptations of Satan, the one who tempted Adam and Eve, the father of lies, the accuser, the slanderer. Satan is one who seeks division, and we dismiss the reality of his presence at great risk. On the other hand, we give him more credit than he deserves. Jesus is tempted, but unlike Adam and Eve, he does not give in. Jesus remains grounded in the will of his Father and so Satan has no power over him.

We need to remember that the weakest Christian is more powerful than Satan himself because we can call on the name of Jesus. This is not some magic incantation, but when we call on the name of Jesus, we acknowledge his presence with us, the fullness of his humanity and his divinity. God has given Jesus the name above every other name so that when his name is spoken, every knee shall bow in heaven and on earth (cf. Philippians 2:9-10). Just as a floodlight shines in the darkness, the darkness gives way to the light. This is even truer with Jesus. Where he is, no evil can remain.

I had a dream some eight to ten years ago now, I am not sure of the exact time, but it is still just as vivid. I was sitting on a couch on the first floor of a house. The scene shifted so that I was seeing myself sitting on the couch from above and then my view was redirected to the attic. I witnessed a misshapen, dark figure rummaging through old boxes and newspapers. He embodied pure evil. I was then back in my body and knew this creature was moving out of the attic and coming down the stairs to the room I was sitting in. My heart was pounding, and I felt petrified as I heard his steps drawing closer. I was frozen in fear. In a few more moments, he came into view. What I saw was not the figure in the attic, but just a man, but I knew it was him. As he continued closer my fear increased then a hymn came to mind. He stopped the moment I began to sing, my fear began to dissipate, and I woke up.

Evil tends to present itself at first as an apparent good, as attractive, as normal. Otherwise, we would reject it outright. Satan and his demons are active through whispers and nudges, they look for our weaknesses and through the same tactics as peer pressure, seek to inject their poison and manipulate our actions. I am not talking about possession here, I am just talking about their divisive and destructive influence. The most dangerous evil is the one masked in faith. Someone who can speak the verses of a Bible and quote chapter and verse does not a Christian make. The devil can do the same thing (See the parallel accounts today’s Gospel of Mark – Mt. 4:1-11 and Lk 4:1-13).

Each day we need to examine our conscience and assess honestly who we are serving. As with the Parable of the Talents, we cannot sit on our hands and do nothing like the wicked servant. That is the most effective tool Satan has, that he can influence us to do nothing in the face of the dehumanization of the person in all of its forms. We rationalize different reasons why we might support what we know is unacceptable in ourselves as well as others, we can easily slide into gossip, prejudicial, and/or divisive talk. If left unchecked, our thoughts and words can lead to actions or the withholding of actions.

Even in the smallest of ways, when we give into the temptations to belittle, demean and/or degrade others in our thoughts, words, and/or actions, we do so to Jesus (cf. Mt 25:35-45). Let us seek God’s forgiveness for the part we have played in spreading the darkness of the father of lies.

The devil wants us divided, undermining, and talking at or over each other, because as long as we are divided, we will not solve the smallest challenge, let alone the big issues facing us. There are no quick fixes, and it will take a unified effort to be able to listen to each other and work together to find solutions to the many problems in our communities, countries, and world. Jesus calls us to recognize the dignity of each person. He encourages the unity of all through the magnificent diversity of all. From the moment of conception until natural death and at each stage in between, we are called to empower each person we encounter, and seek to bring about reconciliation and unity in our realm of influence.

Do we fall short? Yes, all of us do every day. We need to resist beating ourselves up though because that is another trap, another lie. Also, temptations are not sins. Yes, falling for them weakens us, but with Jesus’ help, resisting them strengthens us. We need to examine and review our thoughts, actions, and words with humility. Thank God where we have said yes to his will, resisted temptations, and followed through on acting where he has led us, and where we have loved. Where we have fallen simply and contritely, ask for forgiveness.

May we make time to be still, breathe, rest, and abide in God’s love. The more we remember to do so, the less room we leave available for the temptations of the enemy. When tempted, call on the name of Jesus and he will empower us. When we fall, repent, and return to Jesus and be forgiven. God never tires of forgiving us. May we never tire of seeking his forgiveness, forgiving one another, receiving, and spreading the light and love Jesus gives us to dispel any darkness or evil in our midst.

Photo: The last line of the plaque below the statue of Mary reads: “You are also bearers of my Son.” Like the moon reflecting the light of the sun, Mary reflects the light of her Son. May we do the same.

Link for the Mass readings for Sunday, February 18, 2024.

The Divine Physician is inviting us to experience forgiveness, healing, and his love.

Think about how good we feel after coming to be on the other side of healing from a bad cold or the flu, recovering from a twisted ankle, a broken collar bone, or other health conditions. We experience a feeling of wholeness that was missing during the midst of our suffering where we may have pondered a time or two whether we would ever get better.

The same can be said for estranged relationships. The distance of separation can be agonizing, an inner gut-wrenching experience that gnaws away at us. We wonder if there can ever be a coming back together. Then when reconciliation, forgiveness, and amending of the brokenness of relationships does happen, we can experience such a relief, lightness and joy, that we never imagined possible while in the midst of the gut wrenching angst, conflict, and separation.

Sin separates us from one another, and unchecked sin can build and multiply like cancerous cells. The Pharisees and the scribes questioned why Jesus was eating with tax collectors and sinners, and Jesus replied: “Those who are healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do. I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners” (Lk 5:32).

Jesus is truly a light in the darkness. For Levi and his friends, who just settled for the path they were on, thinking and feeling, this is the best it was going to get, were given a choice, an invitation, a new way. A great celebration of fellowship ensued in Levi’s home because these men and women, who had been outcasts, who were separated from the greater community were forgiven, welcomed, and embraced. They were loved by Jesus as they were. They did not have to change first for Jesus to call Levi and gather with them.

They were welcomed into the kingdom and reign of God. Their ticket to reconciliation and healing was accepting the invitation of Jesus, to receive and experience his love and welcome. Levi and the other sinners did not run from the light of Jesus, but were willing to recognize their need for healing, were willing to repent, to turn away from their prior ways of life and so were reborn!

They were divinized because of their willingness to participate in the life of Jesus. Levi would continue to follow Jesus such that it was no longer he who lived, but Christ who lived in him (cf. Galatians 2:20)!

Jesus invites us each day, as he invited Levi in today’s Gospel, to follow him. We are given the same invitation and opportunity for healing and for discipleship. Will we resist rationalizing and justifying our sinful thoughts, actions, and habits, welcome the light of Jesus that reveals our venial and mortal sins, and admit that we are in need of healing, and repent so as to be forgiven and released from all the energy we have expended in protecting and hiding from ourselves and our God who loves us more than we can ever mess up?

Quietly spending time daily, especially in the evening and recalling our day, by asking Jesus to reveal to us those ways in which we have not lived according to his will is a wonderful practice. Those sins we call to mind we can confess on the spot and Jesus will forgive us. As we recognize recurring actions or more serious sins, we will need a more direct human encounter by embracing the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Reconciliation is a gift of mercy and healing where we can experience firsthand the healing grace of Jesus.

Jesus loves us as we are. Yet holding on to our sin, keeps us at a distance from experiencing the greater breadth and depth of his love. We only need to be willing to be contrite, to embrace sorrow for the harm we have inflicted with our personal sins and go to the Divine Physician in our time of prayer and/or Reconciliation. Once absolved, the heavy weight is lifted, and we are healed. We are then better able to engage in penance to atone for our sins committed, better able to forgive others as we have been forgiven, and to love as we have been loved!

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Photo: Rosary walk over Thanksgiving break, St. Peter Catholic Church, Jupiter, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Saturday, February 17, 2024

The way of Jesus leads to forgiveness.

Today we celebrate the Conversion of St. Paul. Saul, before he was Paul, was a stellar Pharisee and defender of his faith. He learned at the feet of one of the top rabbi’s of his time, Gamaliel, and as he himself said, was “zealous for God”. So much so that he “persecuted this Way to death” (Acts 22:3-4). The Way was the term used early on for those Jewish people who followed Jesus.

The turning point for Saul was his miraculous encounter with Jesus as he was on his way to Damascus to persecute more people of the Way. The phrase that Jesus used when he spoke, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me” (Acts 22:7) was an interesting one. He could have said, “Why are you persecuting my Church, the children of God, your brothers and sisters” or any other choice, but instead he chose, “Why are you persecuting me?”

Jesus is showing the intimate connection that he has achieved through his being born as one of us, suffering and dying and conquering death for each of us, rising and ascending back to the right hand of the Father, still fully human and divine, such that he can come at this point and time to have an encounter with his most zealous of persecutors of the Way.

The encounter with Jesus is enough. Saul is stunned beyond anything he could have imagined. He was not struck by a sword, a smashing blow, or a trip wire across his path. He was stopped by a great light that surrounded him. Jesus, the “light that shines in the darkness” (John 1:5) did not condemn him, nor punish him. He asked a question and then told him what he was going to do next.

It would take another three years for Saul to work out this encounter, but once he did so, he made an incredible 180 degree turn in his life. The Way who he had been persecuting would now become the major focus of his life. He surrendered totally to Jesus and gave everything he had, even his life.

The encounter that Saul had with Jesus offers us a very strong message that we need to allow to sink into the depths of our being. There is nothing that we have done that God will not forgive us for. As Saul said, he was “persecuting this Way to death.” St. Stephen was at least one of those who died at Saul’s command. If anything just came to mind, if just the mere hint of a whisper, “Oh but God will not forgive…” Fill in the blank or blanks. Sorry, that is the voice of the liar, the deceiver, the enemy. That is not God’s voice. Don’t believe it for a minute, for a second. Renounce that thought in the name of Jesus.

God will forgive us. Period. Full stop. As we heard a few days ago. Jesus who was beginning his public ministry said, “This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15). That is exactly what Saul did and became Paul and a saint. That is what we are invited to do this morning.

Photo: Rosary walk during canonical retreat at Bethany Center, Lutz, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Thursday, January 25, 2024

Forgiveness is possible and if we want to heal, necessary.

As was shared in today’s first reading, the very shelter that David and his men were hiding in, was the same cave that Saul happened to walk into by himself. David’s men encouraged David to take Saul’s life, after all they were there because they were hiding from Saul and his army. They could have easily overpowered him and taken his life. The threat would be put to an end and David would assume his rightful place as king.

And yet, David, refused. He chose not to give into revenge, to forgive, to trust in God’s justice instead of taking it into his own hands. After Saul exited the cave, David emerged and said: “I decided, ‘I will not raise a hand against my master, for he is the LORD’s anointed’” (I Samuel 24:11).

He could have easily justified Saul’s death as an act of self-defense but did not. He chose to surrender not to Saul but to God and trust in God’s justice. How many times do we do the opposite? We often react first and think later. We often don’t do forgiveness well, but God does. Forgiveness, is not easy, but it is possible if we ask God to help us to do so.

When we have been hurt or harmed by another, continuing to hold onto the hurt and pain only keeps it festering. Forgiveness is not condoning, justifying, or saying in any way that the action was acceptable. Forgiveness is the making of a choice to no longer accept or allow the pain inflicted to continue. Forgiveness is a choice to not participate in the cycle of violence, but to remove oneself from it, and not choose to act in kind.

I invite you to pray the Our Father this morning or sometime today, slowly, and with intention and attention to the words. When you get to: “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…” Stop and breathe. Bring to mind any areas that you may be harboring some unforgiveness and ask Jesus to help you to forgive in this moment.

It is ok if you find it difficult or are not ready. The first step is to be aware and to identify where the unforgiveness lies. You can then ask God to forgive for you until you are able to forgive. Jesus will lead you each day until you can come to a place of healing where you will be able to forgive. Jesus sought help as well on the Cross when he said, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34).

May we learn from David’s example today, may we share with Jesus our pain, and experience his healing and his love. And may we seek to and ask Jesus to help us to forgive so we can also be forgiven.

Photo: Rosary walk Thursday night, St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL. The love and light of Jesus will shine through the clouds of our unforgiveness if we are willing.

Link for the Mass readings for Friday, January 19, 2024