love

“Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us?”

Our Gospel reading for today begins with a feeling of despair. The hope of Jesus being the Messiah, the promised one who came to redeem and deliver his people Israel died a brutal death. Even though Jesus sought to prepare his followers for this reality, they could not conceive or believe that the promised Messiah could die.

Cleopas and his companion are in mourning as they walk along the road to Emmaus. They have left Jerusalem and are commiserating among themselves about their dashed hopes. They were so sure that Jesus was who he said he was, now what were they to do? Jesus met them where they were and wove his way into the conversation and their journey.

When the time for them to part arrived, Jesus motioned to them that he was continuing on. The pair of disciples urged him, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening and the day is almost over” (Lk 24:29). Jesus did just that and he revealed himself to them “in the breaking of the bread”(Lk 24:35).

The account of the road to Emmaus has significant relevance for our own spiritual journeys. How many times have we had an inaccurate understanding of Jesus in such a way that we felt let down? Have we domesticated Jesus, or limited who he is, seeing only one aspect of his totality, attempted to shape or conform him into our image and likeness? Have we prayed for something and then that petition or intention was not fulfilled in the way we had hoped? Have we sought Jesus and felt that he wasn’t there for us in our time of struggle or during those times that we felt that we needed guidance?

We need to remember that Jesus meets us where we are, accepts us as we are, walks with us even when we are walking in the wrong direction. While at the same time, he reveals to us the truth. We then need to decide to continue on the path leading away from the love of God or to turn back and into his open arms waiting for our return.

Following the truth that Jesus sets out before us means that we will be stretched beyond our comfort zones, urged to let go of our safety nets and training wheels, called to repent from our sinful ways by resisting the temptation to curve in upon and isolate ourselves. Instead we need to be willing to risk, to be loved, and to love in return. Through our relationship with him, Jesus invites us to nothing less than experiencing the transfiguring flames of Trinitarian Love.

Spending time reading and meditating upon the wonderful, daily readings from the Acts of the Apostles and the Gospels available to us right now will set our hearts aflame as happened with Cleopas and his companion. As this pair returned to the community of Jerusalem, may we gather each Lord’s Day, to hear his word proclaimed and to experience him revealed in the breaking of the bread.

As we put into practice what we hear and receive, we too then will begin to: see Jesus more active in the midst of our everyday activities, recognize him in our daily events and even in interruptions, be more inspired to share the sacrificial love we have received from Jesus with those around us, and come to realize that Jesus is more present and closer to us than we are to ourselves. We just need to invite him to walk with us on our journeys, even and especially when we are heading the wrong way!!!

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Photo: While praying with the mysteries of the Rosary, not only my heart, but the sky was burning!

Link for the Mass reading for Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Jesus cares.

Jesus is recorded, a few verses before (cf. 7:37-39) today’s Gospel,  speaking about quenching the thirst of those gathered around to listen to him. The thirst he is talking about fulfilling is spiritual thirst, that thirst which we all desire to be refreshed by, that which we have been created to receive; the thirst to belong, to be in communion, to be loved and to love in return. Jesus speaks of coming to those who thirst to be refreshed with: “Rivers of living water [that] will flow from within” (Jn 7:38). Jesus spoke of the day when he would send the Holy Spirit to well up from within the soul of each person who would follow him. All who participate in the life of Jesus would come to experience also the love shared between God the Father and God the Son, who is God the Holy Spirit.

Some who heard Jesus speaking in this way were deeply moved, they believed him to be the Prophet, others believed him to be the Messiah. Yet, there were those who could not see past their own preconceived notions. They heard his teaching, may have even been moved as well but said, “The Messiah will not come from Galilee, will he” (Jn 7:41)? Remember Nathaniel’s first reaction when Philip had told him that they had found the Messiah? Nathaniel asked if anything good could come out of Nazareth (cf. Jn 43-47). Jesus was also rejected by his own hometown crowd most likely because they knew him most of his life and there was nothing special about him. He was a tekton, a carpenter or a day laborer, like Joseph.

Why the region of Galilee, the town of Nazareth itself, would be disparaged is a matter of speculation. The fact was that there were those, unlike Nathaniel, that could not see past their initial prejudices. Even though Jesus spoke and taught with authority, though as the Temple guards who were sent to arrest him said, “Never before has anyone spoken like this man” (Jn 7:46), and even when Nicodemus spoke out rationally, requesting they hear Jesus out and give him the opportunity to make his case, there were those in authority and among the people who could or would not hear Jesus. They closed themselves off to the invitation to receive the gift of the love of God. Their charge was that he was not from Bethlehem, he was not of the line of David, case closed.

It is helpful to come to terms with our ingrained, prejudicial attitudes and our limitations of thought that prevent us from seeing as God sees, otherwise, we will become like a stagnant pool. Like those in today’s Gospel, we can close ourselves off from the invitation of Jesus and his very life that he would like to impart within us. Many times, this happens because we buy into our anxieties and allow them to limit us. We can be paralyzed by them or on the other extreme act out impulsively. Aristotle wrote that virtue is the means between two extremes. In this case, courage is the means between being paralyzed with fear and excessive reckless abandon.

A more reasonable and rational approach is helpful for our spiritual life as well. We can pay more attention to fear and not trust Jesus. We can believe that Jesus has abandoned us or that he doesn’t care, that he does not exist. Or we can follow the lead of Pope Francis who shared in his Ubi et Orbi message at the height of the pandemic in 2020 that Jesus, “more than anyone, cares about us.” Jesus cares.

He his extending his hand out to us right now. We can reject it or grasp it, the choice is ours. Jesus is the source of living water, he is the eye in the midst of any storm, he is the light leading us through the darkness, and he celebrates with us in our victories. When we choose to breathe more and react less, when we are willing to be still and look, when we trust in Jesus and his love for us, we will experience his presence and we will be more likely to recognize and accept his invitation of love. By taking his hand and allowing him to lead us, we will act with more prudence, be more present and mindful, and better prepared to support one another each day going forward.

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Photo: Great Blue Heron landed next to me as I began my Rosary walk. St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Saturday, March 16, 2024

Be still and allow the light and love of Jesus to rise within your heart.

We hear often in the Gospels how those who believed in Jesus received healings, exorcisms, and were forgiven of their sins. We have also read accounts such as from the Gospel of Matthew that he “did not work many mighty deeds” in Nazareth “because of their lack of faith” (Mt 13:58).

In today’s Gospel account from John, Jesus speaks to a royal official whose son is close to death. Jesus said to him, “You may go; your son will live.” The man believed and in that moment his son was healed.

What do faith and belief have to do with Jesus being active in our lives? The way of the Gospel, the good news, is all about invitation and acceptance. Jesus entered our world, our reality, gently and humbly. He came as a poor infant, completely dependent on Mary and Joseph for his very survival. He lived most of his life in the obscure village of Nazareth most likely working with Joseph as a day laborer. When he began his public ministry, he did so by inviting people to be a part of his life, to enter into a relationship with him and his Father. People are free to say no or to say yes to that invitation.

Faith is trusting that what Jesus says is true and that he is who he says he is. Belief is the act of our will that aligns with our faith, our trust in him. Jesus invited the man to believe that his son was healed, and the man believed and walked away with full confidence that his son would be healed. Belief is followed by an affirmative act of the will. I can believe my car will run, but unless I get in it and turn the key, I am not going anywhere.

Just as the sun rose this morning, whether we saw it or not, Jesus is present to each and every one of us, whether we are aware or not. Jesus is inviting us to be a part of his life. Just as Jesus invited Andrew and Peter, James and John to follow him, Jesus invites us to follow him as well.

Even though the clocks have moved forward an hour, if your schedule affords you the opportunity to wake up with the sun or early in the morning while the sun is still rising this week, I invite you to do so. Find a quiet place inside or outside, call to mind anything that you are grateful for, ponder your hopes and dreams, allow any struggles, confusions, sinful patterns, needs for healing and/or forgiveness for yourselves or others to arise. As the light of the sun pierces the darkness, allow it to be an icon of Jesus’ invitation to enter your life and share with him what came up for you.

“From the east comes the one whose name is Dayspring, he who is mediator between God and men. You are invited then to look always to the east: it is there that the sun of righteousness rises for you, it is there that the light is always being born for you… So that you may always enjoy the light of knowledge, keep always in the daylight of faith, hold fast always to the light of love and peace” (Excerpt from a homily on Leviticus by Church father, Origen, who lived from 184-253).

If not that early in the morning, any time will do! Make some time to be still, embrace and be grateful for the light of Christ, the Dayspring, who rises in your heart. Breathe in deeply the love of his and our Father, believe in the truth that Jesus is the Son of the Living God, and trust that he will be with you today in all you do. Then, when you are ready, arise and walk on with the peace, confidence, and assurance that you are loved more than you can ever imagine and more than you will ever know.

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Photo: Morning prayer during 30 day silent retreat last summer,  Joseph and Mary Retreat House, Mundelein, Illinois.

Link for the Mass readings for Monday, March 11, 2024

Turn from darkness and prefer instead the light that has come into the world.

“That the light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light” (Jn 3:19). What is the preference of darkness over light? We have all said with St. Paul, “For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.” (Romans 7:25)? Now we are not always in this state of choosing darkness over light and choosing to do what we don’t want to do instead of what we want to, but we are probably guilty of entertaining both more than we are willing to admit. Why? I don’t have a definitive answer, but I can share a few ideas.

We are certainly influenced by the condition of Original Sin, that time in our ancient ancestral past where the choice to choose self over God happened and has been perpetuated generation after generation up to an including today. We can choose our self over God because that is an influence of our fallen world and have learned to live our lives that way. We create habitual patterns of behavior and then we go on automatic pilot, continuing to make the same decisions repeatedly. We also make decisions that appear to be but are not for our highest hope and good, because many of us have been wounded and we are doing the best we can to cope and survive.

Our Baptism takes care of Original Sin, but we still have concupiscence, which is our tendency to be drawn into sinful actions. We are still susceptible to temptation. What helps is recognizing that there is a God who loves us, so much so, that he sent his only Son to be one with us so we can be one with him. What helps is making more of a conscious choice to recognize and come out of the shadows, out of the darkness of our defense mechanisms, our denial, our past hurts, anxieties and fears. We need to say yes to Jesus who never sinned because for each and every temptation he received, even in Gethsemane, Jesus had one and the same answer: “Not my will but yours be done” (cf. Lk 22:42).

When we choose to surrender our life to God, by aligning our will with God’s, and by participating in the life of Jesus, we can receive and experience the love of the Holy Spirit working in our own lives. In so doing, we will find healing and forgiveness. This is not a one-time event. This is a progressive, spiritual journey that continues throughout the whole of our lives, and into eternity with God. When we notice we are beginning to slip, this awareness is good. We need to resist beating ourselves up, admit where we are, apologize as necessary, seek forgiveness, and return to loving God, ourselves, and one another.

Holy Spirit, please guide us today so that we can better resist the temptations that go before us, unlearn our negative behaviors, and create new habits to replace those that have kept us bound and shackled to our self-centered, indifferent, and unhealthy postures. Help us to identify and renounce the shadow sides of ourselves, seek to confess and allow your love to heal us, and to place our trust in the Light of Jesus, the warmth of his love, and receive the gift of his forgiveness and mercy.

Photo: St. Francis preferred and chose to follow the light of Christ. Outside our chapel, St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Sunday, March 10, 2024

We are invited to participate in a dance of love.

Jesus recognized that the scribe, who asked him about which commandment was the greatest, “answered with understanding,” and then he said to him, “You are not far from the Kingdom of God” (Mk 12:34). What is it that the scribe understood?

The scribe understood that God “is One and that there is no other”. God is the true source of our being, our very existence. We have been created with an innate desire to be one with him. This is the longing we all feel in the depths of our soul, this is why nothing that is finite or material will ever fully satisfy us, why we are always wanting more. This is as true for the mystic as it is for the atheist and everyone in between.

God is “One and no other” also means that we are not God, we are his created beings. God is not just one being among many, not even the supreme being. This orientation is important for we can only see from our limited perspective. What we think or believe we might need, may in fact not be truly good or beneficial for us, the shimmer may be an apparent good, a distraction, a temptation, that will lead us away from the authentic fulfillment and meaning of life that we seek. God will guide us away from any unhealthy want, he will lead us away from any temptation when we are willing to seek his guidance over and above our own. God will give us what we truly need, he will lead us to that which is, in reality, true, good, and beautiful.

Once we come to believe that God is God and we are his created beings, then we can take the next step and surrender: “to love him with all [our] heart, with all [our] understanding, with all [our] strength”. In our surrender to God and his will, we become capable of receiving his love and so are better able to love him in return. We all long to be loved and to love. Experiencing the love of God helps us to unconditionally love “our neighbor as our self”. Through our surrender to his will we allow God to love others through us.

God invites us to open our minds and hearts to receive his love, to love him in return, and to love others as he has loved us. To love God is like any other relationship. We need to spend quality time with God in stillness, be present One on one, as well as come to an awareness of God’s nearness in our daily activities. We are to resist compartmentalizing God and instead seek his presence in everything we do. The sacrifice he seeks is our willingness to allow him to love others through us, especially those for whom we do not have a warm and fuzzy feeling, as this is not the unconditional love God loves with. We are to will the good of the other as they are.

Each of us is prone to sin. We are wounded but not destroyed. God loves us as we are, and when we are willing to receive his forgiveness and confess, are sorry for our sins, willing to do penance, he forgives us, he heals our wounds, and he transforms us. We need to stop running away from him and start running to him. One way we can do this is to love our neighbor as our self, for if we cannot love those that we can see, how can we love God who we can’t?

There is a wonderful dance of love that Jesus invites us to engage in. As we answer God’s invitation to spend time with him in prayer, we will see him in each other as well as in all things. As we love one another, by being there, listening, supporting, and empowering one another, we will experience more of God’s love and each other’s love. Our lives will expand, we will experience more healing, and be free from those lies and temptations that limit us and we will love ourselves more.

Jesus’ arms are wide open before us in our time of prayer, our own struggles and challenges, and in our neighbors. May we surrender all our heart, soul, mind, and strength into his loving embrace, to receive his love and love him in return, and be willing to love our neighbors and ourselves in the same way. When we get this commandment of loving God, our neighbor and ourselves right, the other commandments will be something we will do naturally. As we put this commandment into practice, we too will hear Jesus say to us, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.”

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Photo: Many ways we can see God’s hand at work. Rosary walk, last Fall. St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Friday, March 8, 2024

Growing in faith is a life-long journey.

Jesus not only tells his disciples that he has not come to abolish but to fulfill the law, he constantly teaches how this is true, models how to put his teachings into practice, and empowers his followers to do so. In his Sermon on the Mount and Sermon on the Plain alone, we can see the development of his teaching and building on the foundation of the Torah. With his Beatitudes, such as, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”, and his Six Antithesis including, “You have heard that it was said ‘an eye for an eye,’ but I say to you offer no resistance to one who is evil”, we can see the further development of Jewish teaching on full display.

If we seriously take the time to read through Jesus’ teachings, we will see quickly how challenging they are. Jesus is not lowering the bar of discipline for his followers, but in fact, raising it. Jesus does so not to place heavy burdens on us for burden’s sake, not just to give us busy working, but he seeks to make us holy. He himself lives what he preaches, but Jesus is no ordinary teacher or mentor. The principles that he teaches, forgiving seventy-seven times, loving our enemy, giving up all to follow him, these seemed impossible to his disciples then and to us today as well.

At face value, we may think that many of Jesus’ teachings are not possible to put into practice or very practical in our day and age. Attempting to do so with our own willpower alone may lead to coming up short each time, and feeling more frustrated. Jesus does not expect nor desire us to accomplish living as his followers on our own efforts. We are to yolk ourselves with him and be open to the transforming power and love of the Holy Spirit acting through us. This happens when we daily invite Jesus into our lives and are humble enough to follow his lead.

We become disciples of Jesus when we are willing to study his life, learn and put his teachings into practice, and surrender ourselves to his will through prayer, discipline, worship, service, and participation in the sacraments. We do so by first being willing to receive his guidance, open our hearts and minds to and allowing Jesus to live his life in and through us. In this way, we are transformed by his love and conformed to his life such that we can say with Paul, it is no longer I who live but Jesus who lives in me (cf. Galatians 2:20).

The path of faith is not a sprint or a one-time event, but an ongoing journey. Each one of us can be assured that Jesus is with us for the long haul, every step of the way and with each temptation that arises. Even when we fall, Jesus remains with us, to forgive and heal us. When we receive and rest in God’s love, we will experience his peace, and will better be able to make decisions free from fearful or reactive responses. By leaning on Jesus and each other, we will resist temptations, make healthier decisions, rise again after we fall, and make it through each day together, with more joy, love, and peace, no matter what arises.

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Photo: On retreat last January, Marywood Retreat Center. Prayed morning and evening prayer on this dock each day at sunrise and sunset.

Link for the Mass readings for Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Are we willing to embrace the humility of Naaman?

Naaman, is an interesting character that comes to life, not only in the first reading, but Jesus refers to him as well. Naaman is a successful commander in the Aramean army and well favored by the king. The conflict that arises for him is that he suffers with what appears to be the beginning of leprosy.

Naaman shows his humility in his willingness to listen to the advice his wife’s servant girl. Someone who had no voice or status in society. He follows her guidance, goes to Israel and leaves from his encounter with Elisha angry because the prophet does not meet with Naaman’s expectation. Before all is lost, Naaman’s willingness to listen to the reasoning of another of his servants will lead Naaman to be completely healed and praising the God of Israel.

Jesus in the Gospel has returned to Nazareth and although the hometown crowd is initially moved by his powerful teaching, things turn ugly fast when he shared about how God worked through the faith of the widow of Zarephath, who saved Elijah, and Naaman’s story. Both the widow and Naaman were foreigners, they were others, they were Gentiles, and not Jewish. Jesus is echoing the prophet Isaiah and sharing that God’s offer of salvation is not only for the chosen people of the house of Israel, but it is to be for all nations.

The offer of universal salvation filled Jesus’ hometown crowd with fury, and they rose as one to “hurl him head long” over the hill and out of Nazareth. At first reading, we might wonder how this invitation could be so unnerving.

What if we spent a few moments of placing ourselves in the synagogue at Nazareth and imagine ourselves sitting and receiving his same message? The only difference this time is when Jesus reaches out his healing hand and offers his invitation of salvation, he offers it to… let us fill in the blank. With whom or with what group of people might we bristle? Would we embrace his message or begin to cross our arms and seethe? Would we too want to rise and reject Jesus and throw him head long over the hill?

Or can we be humble like Naaman, and admit our own biases, and be healed of our own limitations and prejudgments? Are we willing to support the idea of salvation for only a select few or for all? Will we be an obstacle to Jesus’ healing or be humble enough to admit where we need healing, be healed, and share Jesus’ message and healing with others?

Photo: Beginning of Rosary walk last night. St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Monday, March 4, 2024

“When the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.”

Pilgrims numbering two to four million would ascend to Jerusalem to participate in the annual observance of Passover. During this time the Jewish officials were on edge because their primary concern was to keep order and peace for fear that the Roman military occupation also in presence would step in if need be. If the centurions asserted their enforcement, it would be swift and brutal. Even the slightest infraction of civil unrest would be dealt with harshly.

Jesus whirling a whip made out of chords, driving out the merchants, turning over tables, sending coins flying would have been quite the scene! The disruption certainly would not have gone unnoticed and some biblical scholars believe this was the main incident leading to his crucifixion. In this act of cleansing the Temple, Jesus gave a visual display to his sometimes figurative teachings. Jesus came to shake things up, to wake people up from their spiritual slumber, to bring people back to right worship and praise.

Let us enter the scene of today’s gospel. We are those among the vast crowd in the temple precincts, shoulder to shoulder amidst the hustle and bustle of the day. A cacophony of words echoes about, haggling of prices for animals being purchased for sacrifice mingle with arguments over unjust money exchanges. Then we experience a lull in the crowd, we look over our shoulders and see people stepping aside, parting, and opening. Then Jesus, rope chords in hand, his face hard, and eyes set on the tables ahead of him, strides by us. We can feel the electricity of a gathering thunderstorm, and then he lets loose like a lightning bolt. The first table goes over, coins launch into the air and jingle as they scatter across the stone amidst a chorus of the money changer’s cries of outrage.

The scene shifts. A knock is heard at the door of our own home as we are in the midst of what we do on any given Sunday. We walk to the entrance and spy the same Jesus we just experienced in the temple precincts standing outside. We feel the drop in pressure of a gathering storm, we witness the same hard expression on his face, and in his hand are the same chords. If we do let Jesus in, where does his stride take him, what does he overturn and toss aside? We are invited to allow Jesus full reign and access to every nook and cranny of our home, as well as our heart, mind, and soul.

In both cases, these are not acts of Jesus having a temper tantrum or bad day. They are acts of love and purification. “For when the perfect comes, the partial passes away” (I Corinthians 13:10). Jesus, the perfect, knows what does not and what does belong in the temple as well as our homes and in our hearts. He knows what is preventing us from receiving the fullness of his and his Father’s love. Are we willing to know, to purge, and allow that which is partial to pass away, so that we may enter into a deeper life of authentic prayer, worship, intimacy of relationship with God, and service to each other?

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Painting: Rosary walk last Fall, St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Sunday, March 3, 2024

Peace comes when we align our will with our Father’s will.

Look at me, serve me, I want, are attitudes and dispositions that tempt us. Fame, honor, power, prestige may be another way of making the same point, which is that we often have a hyper-focus on self and self-promotion. Social media offers more of a platform to fuel this temptation. If we think this is something new with the advent of modern technology, we can look at today’s Gospel of Matthew to see that we have been operating from this posture for a very long time.

Jesus, for the third time, was attempting to prepare his disciples for his passion. He said: “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day” (Mt 20:18-19).

The response of the mother of James and John (the two brothers make the request themselves in the Gospel of Mark) is actually not that surprising if we spend any time with people. She disregards what Jesus just mentioned about his imminent death and requests that when Jesus assumes his seat of power that her two sons will be number one and number two. The other disciples were quite indignant, and I can imagine what followed was not a pretty sight.

Jesus shares directly with the brothers that to give them a place at his right and left “is for those for whom it has been prepared for by my Father” (Mt 20:23). He addresses them all by letting them know that the preeminent place in his kingdom, whoever is to be first, is the one who serves his brother and sister.

Jesus is encouraging us this Lent to take the focus off ourselves and get out of our heads. To let go of I, me, and mine. Even when we let go a little, we will feel more peace. We will be able to take a few more deep breaths. We can experience this as well when we get outside, look up, and see the expanse of the sky. We’re no longer thinking about ourselves but touching the gift of our eternal nature and call to be one with God. Instead of feeling contraction, we can experience a sense of expansion.

When we allow ourselves to take a breath, we can then let go of the stress and the strain and the needless energy we expend following the distractions, diversions, and temptations that keep us on a treadmill pace. We can then instead spend a few moments with Jesus, and he can, as he did today with the apostles, correct any ways in which our mindset is not aligned with his Father’s will. We can then place God’s priorities for our life first, properly order our own, or let go of any that are not of his will.

When we are able to breathe, receive, and abide in God’s love, discern and make decisions from his guidance, we are changed and transformed. We will experience healing and renewal. We will begin to experience the fruit of the spirit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). In this way we can let go of being first or best, sitting at the right or left of Jesus, and instead, rest in being who we are as loved by God. As we experience more of the love of God, it is easy to let go of the need to be served and be more willing to serve and share the love we have received.

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Photo: Looking up and outward, and breathing deep! St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, Boynton Beach, FL.

Link for the Mass readings for Wednesday, February 28, 2024

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

My wife, JoAnn, asked me on a couple of occasions what were the favorite clothes of mine that she wore that I would like her to pack for our trip. I said the ones that you feel most comfortable in. She also shared with me what clothes she liked on me, including a pair of black, skinny jeans.

The reason we were having this conversation was because we were moving to Los Angeles. JoAnn had been diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer and we were moving to LA, for her final months this side of heaven.

With all packed, JoAnn flew ahead to Los Angeles with Jack. I would follow two weeks later after I finished out the school year. When I arrived and we were unpacking, JoAnn said, “You didn’t pack your black, skinny jeans.” The look on her face pierced my heart. We didn’t talk about it again.

About four months later and a few days after JoAnn died. The image of the look on her face came back to me again, and with some time to think, I realized that JoAnn was focusing on the clothes because these would be our last weeks together and why not dress in clothes that we both liked on each other. I was devastated that I missed it. The feeling also brought up times throughout our marriage where I did not make the time to listen to JoAnn, where I was impatient, and even treated her with contempt.

In that moment I experienced a deep sense of contrition at how I must have hurt JoAnn in those times. I cried as I walked to the cathedral in downtown LA which was about a half mile away. I got myself together and then fell apart again as I confessed to the priest. When I finished, he said that JoAnn forgave me, and that God forgave me.

Mercy, in Hebrew – Chesed – tender compassion.

God’s mercy, his tender compassion, is what I felt in that moment.

This is what Jesus is calling us to receive and be in our Gospel today. We are to be merciful, just as our Father is merciful with us.

Lent is a time to experience the mercy, forgiveness, and love of God. We do so when we are willing to be humble enough to allow Jesus to show us our sin, where we have fallen short of loving him, ourselves, and one another as he has created us to be. When we see our sin, Jesus does not condemn, berate, or demean us. If we experience any of that, know it is the devil seeking to isolate and separate us from the mercy, forgiveness, and love God wants to embrace us with.

All God asks of us is to be ourselves, to be who he has created us to be and that is his beloved daughter or son. All the other things we think we need to be, we can let go of. We can let go of all the anxiety, stress, and confusion about who we think we ought to be and just breathe deeply, receive, rest, and abide in the love our Father wants to share with us. When we live from this experience of God’s love, we will be in a better place. And when we mess up, we just need to be contrite, confess, be forgiven, do penance, and begin again.

As I shared my experience above, I encourage you to think of a time when you have experienced God’s mercy, chesed – his tender compassion. Rest in that moment and return to it again and again today and this week. When we return to and experience these anchor moments of God’s mercy for us, we will remember who and whose we are, and we will better be able to share God’s mercy, forgiveness, and love with others.

Photo: Treasure each moment you have with those you hold close to your heart. Even in the best of circumstances, time goes too quickly and the unexpected can happen. Let those you love, know you love them, with your thoughts, words, faces, and actions.

Link for the Mass readings for Monday, February 26, 2024