martha-and-mary

“God is love.” Even when there is suffering and pain.

Hospitality was a key virtue for people of the ancient Near East. Martha approached Jesus as he was teaching looking for support from her sister Mary in preparing the meal. Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet with the male disciples gathered around him while Martha appeared do be doing all the work. Martha was hoping that Jesus would support her in her request. Jesus not only did not, but said that Mary had chosen the better part and that Martha was “anxious and worried about many things” (cf. Luke 10:38-42).

We don’t know how Martha reacted to Jesus. A subtle key in today’s Gospel account from John may shed light on their last encounter and Martha’s reaction. Martha’s boldness was on display again. As soon as she was aware that Jesus was coming near, she did not wait for him to arrive but “went to meet him” (Jn 11:20). Martha’s brother, Lazarus, had now been dead for four days and Jesus, who had the time to arrive before his death, was not present to help his friend, her brother, Lazarus, in his time of need.

How many times have we been in Martha’s position? Felt that Jesus was not there when we needed him most? Why do bad things happen to good people? Part of the answer is that we live in a fallen world of sin and self-centeredness. God does not bring about suffering but he does allow it. God loves us so much that he is willing to give us the free will to reject him. The cost of our freedom to choose means that there are consequences for our choices which can be detrimental or beneficial. We are all interconnected so when we choose to act on our own apart from God’s guidance and the welfare of others, the damage that ensues affects not only those around us but everyone. On the other side of the coin, there is the presence of grace, forgiveness, and love when we choose to draw close to God, especially in challenging times.

When we choose God, we will find out that we are not alone in our suffering, especially, when we do as Martha did and go out to meet Jesus. She most likely did not holding back any of the full range of her hurt and pain. Martha’s words expressed her anguish, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (Jn 11:21). We can only see from our limited point of view, especially with our own experiences of grief. Yet God sees far beyond our finite perspectives and Jesus helps to not only bring about a greater good, though it may take time to come to understand and experience, he accompanies us in each agonizing breath of our suffering.

Jesus came too late to heal his friend, which Martha and Mary could not understand. What he came to do, was beyond their wildest imaginings. Jesus came to restore Lazarus to life, which would also be a foreshadowing of his own Resurrection. The difference being that Jesus would not merely be resuscitated as Lazarus was and die again. Jesus would conquer death!

Martha was not holding a grudge from their last exchange. She came directly to him. She knew he could have healed her brother if he had been there, but did not say so accusingly. Martha immediately followed instead with: “But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you” (John 11:22). Then even before Jesus called Lazarus back to life, Martha showed her faith. Jesus asked if Martha believed. Martha, as did Peter, made the affirmation of our faith: “Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God” (John 11:27).

We have been blessed by the witnesses of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. Each show their trust in Jesus in their own unique way and follow his guidance. Those of us who have suffered the loss of a loved one, or more, know something of the pain that Martha and Mary experienced. May we also all trust in Jesus, the Son of God, the “resurrection and the life” who conquered death and became the firstborn of the new creation. We need not fear our time of suffering or death, our own, or for our loved ones as long as we give our lives to him. When we call on Jesus he will give us the strength to endure and overcome, the challenges we face still in this life and he will lead us by his love and grace into the next.

Painting: The Raising of Lazarus – Caravaggio. Martha, Mary, and Lazarus help us to trust and have faith in Jesus as you did. Pray for us!

Link for the Mass readings for Wednesday, July 29, 2026

Let us choose the better part, slow down to receive, and reflect the light of Jesus.

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her” (Lk 10:41-42).

My wife, JoAnn, and I used to have more than a few spirited discussions on this Gospel passage each time that it arose because, at first reading, it appears that Jesus does not show any empathy or regard for Martha’s gift of hospitality nor for all the work that she is doing. All the men are sitting around listening to Jesus, and Mary… she is doing the same, and who is left to do all the work? Martha.

Blessed to serve as a permanent deacon for ten years, I saw my own, as well as other deacon’s wives, carry extra weight and burdens in support on the home front to allow their husbands the time to serve, many of us who also still held full time jobs. Not only deacon’s wives, this reality is also true for many wives who are full-time homemakers, run in-home businesses, or carry a job outside the home, as well as care for the children, overseeing the bills, the day to day grind, and so find themselves at times, feeling under-appreciated, undervalued, and not respected for all they do.

Husbands can do a better job of being present, more patient, respectful, and attentive to their wives and be more of an equal partner on the journey. For those married as well as single, the point Jesus is making, that he makes throughout the Gospels is to put God first, then family, work, and our unique vocation. The expression of that is going to be different for each station in life. There will be more time constraints for parents of infants. No matter how little time we may have, we must pray daily, we must be still and sit at the feet of Jesus. As we do so, we will find that the time we did not think we have, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit will be properly ordered.

This prelude acknowledges the reality of how much we juggle in every age. There is much to do and much to be done. Jesus was not disregarding Martha’s hospitality. Especially in the Gospel of Luke, there are many instances in which Jesus empowers women so far beyond the cultural reality of his time. We read this as we do any biblical account from our twenty-first-century mindset. Contextually, the men sitting at the teacher’s feet in a different room, the women cooking, and most times eating separately were commonplace for those in the ancient near east of the first century AD. Mary was the only person out of step with the times.

The interpretive key to understanding this account is what Jesus said. He pointed out that Martha was “anxious and worried about many things.” Mary could have been one of those worries, and not so much that Mary wasn’t helping in the kitchen, but because she was breaking the social norm of sitting with the men. When Martha calls Jesus to redirect Mary, she probably expects him to support her plea. Yet, Jesus acknowledges that: “There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her” (Luke 10:42).

Mary, sitting and having her primary focus on Jesus was the posture of a disciple. Jesus was not only allowing her to do so, he was commending her for doing so. I can visualize Martha being taken aback at first, but then slowly feeling the muscles in her face relax as the lightbulb went on. We don’t know, but could she in that moment have experienced that peace, that peace that surpasses all understanding, and the anxiety and worry left her? Feeling the peace, instead fear in approaching Jesus as Mary had done, did Martha then take her apron off, throw it to the side, and sit down next to her sister and also become his disciple?

There is biblical evidence that beyond the Twelve, Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, were Jesus’ friends. When Jesus came four days after the death of Lazarus, as soon as Martha heard Jesus was outside, she, not Mary, came immediately out to Jesus, and in that exchange, it was Martha who made the claim that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of God (cf Jn 11:27). Would she have had this insight, the same as Peter, if she was still holding a grudge from this encounter?

Our modern reaction and push back to this Martha and Mary account in Luke may not so much be a reflection on Jesus but how poorly men have treated women over the generations and how poorly women continue to be treated even today. No matter their ages, young, old, and everywhere in between, women are human beings created in the image and likeness of God. No one has the right to abuse, demean, disparage, devalue, or exploit any woman. Women are to be appreciated, heard, respected, cherished, and valued.

God has given each of us gifts to participate in his Father’s plan. May we resist the temptation to fear coming close to Jesus and taking time out to sit at his feet, to engage in mental maelstroms, to be “anxious and worried about many things.” Instead, when we experience the beginning tremors of any stress or strain, instead, be still and rest in Jesus’ presence as Mary, and hopefully Martha, did.

In this way, any anxiety will begin to dissipate as we experience feeling safe in his presence and experience Jesus’ love. Doing so will help us to better know Jesus, his voice, and his teaching, know and follow his will, love others as he loves us, and live our lives respecting, encouraging, and supporting one another with the gifts and guidance that God has given us.

One woman who may have learned the Martha and Mary account well was Lydia. Luke and Paul encounter her and some other women in the city of Philippi. When Paul preached, Lydia, “listened, and the Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what Paul was saying.” She then asked to be baptized with her household, and then invited them into her home (cf Acts 16:11-15). She listened and pondered God first, then acted.

When we choose the better part of sitting at Jesus’ feet before making a decision, we can experience less chaos and more of his peace and guidance. Instead of living in a perpetual state of chronic stress and anxiety, we can instead choose to breathe, rest, receive and abide in God’s love. Then from that place of stillness, like Mary and Lydia, and I believe Martha, instead of reacting, we can make a choice based on God’s guidance.

Photo: Mary, Jesus’ mother, was the premier disciple for she “pondered” the mysteries she experienced with Jesus “in her heart” (Luke 2:19) and “heard the word of God and observed it” (Luke 11:28). She also chose the better part and so like the moon that reflects the light of the sun, Mary reflects the light of her Son. Our Lady of the Rosary, pray for us!

Link for the Mass readings for Tuesday, October 7, 2025